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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

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McCain’s Vehicular Fortitude Dwarfs Obama’s


Newsweek shocked the world in their Sept. 29 issue by comparing the number of vehicles this year’s presidential candidates have in their respective garages. According to the magazine, John and Cindy McCain own a total of 13 automobiles while Barack and Michelle Obama share a single 2008 Ford Escape Hybrid. In this time of economic crisis it begs the question: What kind of cool toys does John McCain have stashed in his various homes?
Newsweek reports that McCain’s vehicle of choice is a 2004 Cadillac CTS, the only one of the 13 registered to his name. Of the remaining 12, 11 are registered to his wife. The 12th and final vehicle, her daily driver, is a Lexus registered to her family’s Arizona based beer-distribution business, Hensley & Co. 
The Cindy mobile comes complete with personalized plates that read MS BUD in honor of Budweiser, the company’s flagship beer and popular red state intolerance greaser. 
In keeping with the maverick spirit, the rest of the McCain mini-collection crosses automotive party lines without fear of the press it might receive. 
Perhaps the most appropriate selection of his herd are three American-made 2000 NEV Gem electric vehicles which are commonly found buzzing the elderly about in upper-class retirement communities. Adding to the domestic side of the aisle with healthy gas engines are a 2007 Ford half-ton pickup, a 1960 Willys Jeep, a 2008 Jeep Wrangler, a 2001 GMC SUV and a 2000 Lincoln. 
It’s an impressive slice of Americana no doubt, but Newsweek objectively reports that a trio of foreign terrors have infiltrated McCain’s home-grown automotive ranks. Specifically, a Toyota Prius, a 2005 Volkswagen convertible and a 2001 Honda sedan are shaming the senator’s garages and public image with their superior gas mileage and sturdy craftsmanship. 
Dumping fuel on the fires of the scandal, McCain was recently quoted as saying, “I’ve bought American literally all my life and I’m proud,” in an interview with the Detroit station WXYZ-TV.
In a recent conference call to the media, United Auto Workers President Ron Gettelfinger called out McCain’s home-wrecking philandering in the foreign car market saying, “‘Buy American’ can’t just be a slogan that John McCain rolls out when he is in Michigan. It’s insulting to our members. We need a president who’s committed to rebuilding the auto industry here in America, not a president who buys foreign cars and then lies about it when he thinks autoworkers are watching.”
The Obama campaign took the initiative to spotlight McCain’s apparent hypocrisy by running a smear ad detailing the dirty contents of his garages. The ad flashes the Volkswagen, Honda and Toyota logos with threatening music playing in the background while juxtaposing a particularly unflattering image of McCain’s face. 
It might have been an especially underhanded move as Obama came under fire not so long ago for powering about in a Hemi equipped Chrysler 300C while simultaneously calling for Detroit to manufacture more fuel-efficient cars. 
The heat prompted him to jettison the luxury muscle-sedan from his “change we need” platform last year for the 2008 Ford Escape Hybrid that is now the Obama family’s only car. 
Politics aside, it’s comforting to see that automobiles are still at the forefront of what it means to be an American.


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