You probably wouldn’t guess the Mercedes GLK pictured above is capable of 200.3mhp. But the V12 emblem on the hatch is a dead give away that it is, thanks in part to 750HP and 811 lb-ft of torque (limited electronically from 995 lb-ft). Who in…
Not so long ago, Russian armored carmaker Dartz cancelled plans to include whale-penis leather interior in their Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition, due largely in part to complaints from Pamela Anderson and PETA. Now Dartz has built a “Penisguard” Volga, presumably to celebrate their newfound…
In the wake of Tiger Woods’ notorious early morning crash, GM took pity.. On the Escalade. GM now plans to repair and possibly auction off the battered SUV, as it was one of several vehicles Woods agreed to be seen in after his promotional deal…
Tiger Woods is in the automotive news for crashing a Cadillac Escalade through a fire hydrant and into a neighbor’s tree at 2:25 a.m., several days before he was scheduled to host his Chevron World Challenge. Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor said officers arrived on…
If it weren’t for tightening global safety and emission regulations, the iconic Land Rover Defender might not be going under the knife this year for the first time since 1983. It was just that good, and was after all, the original Land Rover, the vehicle…
What might seem like an embarrassing mishap to common folk is really a right of passage into the playboy world. No, not accidentally killing a stripper, but wrecking an exotic car. Over the weekend, Ferrari/Fiat Chairman Luca Montezemolo slowly drove a Ferrari California off the…
When Volkswagen unveiled the L1 at the Frankfurt auto show, they boldly called it “the most fuel-efficient automobile in the world.” Try these specs on for size: 158.7mpg with a 416mile range, from a diesel engine/electric motor setup, sipping from a 1.7gallon fuel tank. (1,…
Russian custom car shop Prombron has decided not to include whale-penis leather interior on their upcoming $1.5 million SUV. PETA wouldn’t have it and Pam Anderson complained with a personal email. More notably, Prombron composed a mind-blowing press release on the matter entitled: “ARMORED CAR…
This is the end, the last three-pronged stab into a party bowl of zodiac car treats. Buckle yourselves into the carstrology highchair then. Sprinkle on some cardust and dig in quick; the Libra's getting soggy. LIBRA (September 23-October 22) Custom Van As children, Librans fantasize…
A drunk Port Orchard man crashed his 1993 Isuzu Rodeo into a ditch early Sunday morning, and that’s where this story should have ended. Instead, the 28-year-old decided to fight the power, first by instigating a battle of the wits, eventually with biting above the…
Five people have already been killed and many others injured in a deadly new game played by gangs of drivers in Bulgaria’s capitol city. Every night at midnight nearly fifty people gather at busy intersections around Sofia to take part in 'Russian road roulette'. The…
Below is the list of nine current vehicles The Wall Street Journal reports are soon to be killed by Fiat and three Alfa Romeos that will be joining the party. Dodge and Jeep sustained the biggest losses but muscle car fans will be happy to…
“Extra Fiat, hold the Chrysler,” is the basis of the product roadmap expected to be announced Nov. 4, by Chrysler Group. Or should we say, Fiat-Chrysler? To keep the struggling auto union around long enough to bring a wave of Fiats to the United States…
Aha! There you are. Bored by those other zodiac weirdos, you’ve stumbled back into my cosmic grip in search of automotive parallels lassoed down from the heavens by an Ethernet cord. Part three awaits, if you can handle the squeeze. SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21) El…
I’m guessing most of us probably wouldn’t shell out $1.6 million to ride around on whale penis, even if we had the money, but I could very well be wrong. For those who are interested, Russian armored car builder Dartz, manufactures the Prombron Monaco Red…
Hello again and welcome to the halfway point of our half-baked Zodiac road trip. If you’re an Aquarius or Cancer, please forgive me; I am but a conduit through which the star energy flows. CANCER (June 21-July 22) Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid Cancers are stricken with…
Zodiac signs are a lot like the PT Cruiser; neither makes much sense, but each remains defiantly popular nonetheless. To discover why, let’s jump down the non-sequitur rabbit hole and fashion an astrological link between the cars people drive and their lives in the stars.…
This month’s award for questionable balls-to-brains ratio goes to former F1 driver, David Coulthard. Before a demonstration run of the Red Bull Renault in Mumbai, he told the Press Trust of India: “Apparently there is a speed limit, but I don't intend to drive in…
Jim Farley, Ford’s Group Vice President of Marketing and Communications claims to be the cousin of the late Chris Farley, but this half baked conspiracy doesn’t fly with me. With an indelible comedic legacy secured, it’s quite obvious Chris Farley faked his own death in…
We’ve all been arrested for public drunkenness and carted off to the drunk tank in a paddy wagon, but not many of us can say we managed to get busy with our significant other whilst en route to the station. Hats off to an unnamed…
To quote Samuel L. Jackson, “Hold on to your butts,” we could be looking at the beginning of a new era for Detroit muscle. Both Ford and Chevrolet are expected to shove even more power between the front rubbers of their iconic ground-pounders. This week,…
When a man’s drinking hard liquor in his car, he likes to have a shotgun handy just in case he gets the urge to hunt something. Range Rover understands, and teamed with gun maker Holland & Holland to produce a custom booze infused gun mobile…
Masturbating, high-on-drugs and driving a tractor-trailer to Gothenburg, Sweden, at around 4am, a Dutch trucker was living the dream before he lost control and flipped his rig, blocking multiple lanes of traffic. Undeterred, he was still pleasuring himself when the cops found him in the…
One of the main gripes with the 2010 Camaro SS is its gutless lack of power. 425hp? Why not just pull it with a team of sickly cats? Untie the twist in your acid-washed jeans, according to Ed Welburn, GM’s vice president for global design,…
Dear Guy, Thankfully, your convenience store sells the cheapest fuel near my home. It’s my fault you were hosed with it, and I am sorry. You see, when I stumbled into your store at 6:43 in the AM and splurged for $20 worth of gas…
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