Good morning, Netizens...

In this morning's picture, cheese carver Troy Landwehr displayed his patriotic cheese sculpture in Times Square Friday. The sculpture was created from a 2,000 lb block of cheddar cheese and depicts the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Photo: Bess Greenberg/The New York Times

Patooie! I've featured exotic pictures of sand carvings, stone carvings, even a picture several months ago of a really sharp Eskimo wood carving, although at the time I commented that using wood as a medium was a little too “traditional” for me. Here we have the latest in a series of carvings, and this one, a huge block of cheddar cheese, is edible. That way, if the carving doesn't work or gets bad reviews in the press you may have some alternatives, such as:

The cheese carving, when properly treated, would yield up a lot of Cheese Whiz. Although Kraft Foods will not tell you about its chemical contents, it is assumed that Cheese Whiz contains emulsifiers and stabilizing agents, such as xanthan gum or carrageenan. These products derive their tanginess and flavor from additional ingredients such as citric acid and various flavoring compounds. Annatto is used for coloring according to the Wikipedia. It's not just cheese anymore.

When properly emusified, treated with various chemicals and put in cans under pressure, Troy Landwehr's immaculate carving would yield up roughly 32,000 ounces of Cheese Whiz or further translated 166 cases, each containing 12 cans of Cheese Whiz. Stop and think about that a minute. Add a truck filled with crackers and you have the makings of a really good party in Riverfront Park. If the crackers are a no-show, you can invite your favorite anarchists and the SPD and have a battle with Cheese Whiz.

Which would you rather have, a half truckload of Cheese Whiz or a remarkable sculpture in cheese?

Given its potential for "alternative uses" this seems like a good question to start an otherwise beautiful Sunday morning off with a proper businesslike hustle and bustle.

Dave

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