The pain in my rib cage jabbed with startling ferocity. I squirmed in my seat in the crowded auditorium, trying to get comfortable. I was learning a painfully expensive lesson about the high cost of vanity. You see, there comes a time in every woman’s life when she feels the need for more support – and by support I mean foundational garments. (Male readers feel free to stop here.) This perceived need for figurative assistance spans the generations. My great grandmother wore a corset. My grandmother wore a girdle. My mother wore a panty girdle. Today’s generation has “shapewear” most commonly found in the brand name Spanx. Somehow, I’d reached my late 40s without becoming familiar with the misleadingly silky garments that provide an iron-fisted hold on unsightly bumps and bulges. But recently I bought a new dress – a fitted sheath that looked fabulous – as long as I’m holding my breath/Cindy Hval, SR Front Porch. More here.

Question: Um, I stopped reading at point that Cindy issued warning to males. Anyone else willing to share close encounters with foundational support?