Summer driving season is here.
So here's the question.
What are you like on a cross-country road trip?
A) "I am the perfect companion."
B) "There's a good chance I won't like your music."
C) "I have been known to observe that someone's breath smells like roadkill."
D) "People say I'm picky about what constitutes an acceptable restroom. But I have standards. Sue me."
E) "There's a good chance I will loathe your politics and will want to spend the next 100 hours convincing you of your insanity."
F) "I guess I am sexually distracting. What can I say?"
G) "I like to eat all of the sandwiches prepared for the day in the first 10 minutes of being out on the road."
H) "I like a lively give-and-take on religion."
I) "I am a gifted listener in that I appear to be awake even though I am asleep."
J) "I know something about a lot of subjects, so I can discuss almost anything."
K) "I have a childhood story so heartbreaking, no one will be able to say anything for a hundred miles."
L) "I know a few things about bears."
M) "I don't automatically assume you want to hear about my work gripes."
N) "I can hold it."
O) "I'm willing to talk frankly and openly about my sexual adventures during my college year in Spain."
P) "I enjoy going on Google and finding embarrassing things about my travel companions and then reading them aloud."
Q) "When conversation lags, I'm happy run through an extended critique of every person I've ever slept with."
R) "It's almost a certainty that I know more about American geography than you do."
S) "If you don't agree with me about the Beatles, it is going to be a long trip."
T) "If you are nice to members of my family when we get there, you will be golden in my eyes forever."
U) "There are a few foods I will not tolerate in the car."
V) "I have been high since 1973, man."
W) "I had a CCR phase in college and would be willing to revisit it."
X) "You need to know in advance that I am going to want to stop for the night only at places that have a swimming pool."
Y) "I'm quite proud of my singing voice."
Z) "I am capable of having an unexpressed thought."