Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
Partly Cloudy Night 38° Partly Cloudy

The Slice

The spider incident

So a young woman I know was talking about an assault on an innocent spider.

Apparently, she was outdoors and raised her bare arm to show her gentleman companion that a teensy arachnid had taken up temporary residence on her forearm.

The man instantly brushed the uninvited arachnid off of her.

The woman was mildly appalled. She had not felt threatened by the little spider and had no desire to see it harmed.

I'm sure the guy thought he was doing the right thing. But that's the thing about women. They don't all think alike.

But a question kept going through my mind. What about the spider? We don't have his or her account. So I can only imagine.

"There I was, minding my own business, walking on this lady's arm. When all of the sudden this big guy with her whacks me, knocking me ass over tea kettle into a nearby bush.

"What had I ever done to him? I had no intention of harming his wife or whoever she was. I just thought she might have some microscopic mites on her arm that I could snack on.

"I'm telling you, I'm lucky I survived. Good thing that bush was there. Next time, I'm going make sure the woman knows the score. 'HEY LADY!' I'll shout, to get her attention. Then I will explain that if she is going to be keeping company with some paranoid lout, I will make myself scarce.

"I know what I should have said to that guy. 'I'M WALKIN' HERE!' But with my luck, he's probably never seen 'Midnight Cowboy.'"     



The Slice

The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.