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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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The Slice

“Did they have fireworks when you were young?”

A woman considerably younger than myself asked me that question today.

I think she might have been thinking specifically of organized, city-sponsored pyrotechnic displays. But on the chance she actually has no idea how old I am (or how old fireworks are), I probably should have offered one of the following answers instead of just giving her a WTF look.

A) "Yes, I was quite young when the ancient Chinese invented them." B) "Oh yes, I would go down to the city park with my pet triceratops and we would watch them together." C) "Yes, but we never went to watch them as a family because my dad still had shell shock from the Civil War." D) "Yes, but that was before the invention of the printing press, so it was hard to get the word out." E) "Yes, but eventually it got harder and harder to find a virgin to sacrifice as part of the show." F) "No, we just smashed rocks together and tried to create sparks that way." G) "Yes, I was there when Lewis & Clark celebrated the 4th that way."

The Slice

The online home for Paul Turner's musings and interactions with disciples of The Slice.