Fat guy jumping stilts
I love finding toys and gadgets that I absolutely should not own. Like this:
Those are jumping stilts, specifically the Air-Trekker CZ120 Adult Edition for hefty people who weigh 265-300 lbs. Because, why not? Fat guys need to jump too. It's one of those products that absolutely no one needs, but everyone should have. Imagine me, all 275 lbs of me, jumping and spinning around like Mario or Samus Aran.
Look out world, here I come. Now all I need is a laser blaster.