Forest Chief Lays Down Law For Department

An incomprehensible memo from U.S. Forest Service chief Jack Ward Thomas has underlings in stitches. Wrote Thomas on March 6: “I expect deputy chiefs, associate deputy chiefs and Washington office staff directors to emphasize and to be able to assure that ‘horizontal’ behavior has been considered and instituted to the extent appropriate to the specific situation.” Gadzooks! Who says the USFS isn’t accommodating? Before your mind wanders too far, try this definition for “horizontal behavior”: teamwork. Onward.

Pierce Clegg, R.I.P.? You heard Patty Duke tell Regis and Kathy Lee that “Sheriff Bob” of the CPD Blue picked up four horses of hers that had wandered off her ranch. Sheriff Bob actually is KCSO dispatcher Bob Kidd. But who’s keeping score? … People magazine awarded a C-plus grade to the first episode of Duke’s “Amazing Grace.” … Worth repeating: Spokane developers Bill and Chris Koll plan to replace the Mudge Apartments at 1st & Lakeside with an eight-story complex, including two floors underground. Stresses Chris, the building won’t be a high-rise. (Maybe not in New York, but it sure fits that description in beautiful downtown CdA.) … Say what? The North Idaho Private Industry Council sent a fax announcing its third Leadership Forum, with a cover-letter note asking us to print the notice so “invited guests will attend.” OK. But I hope they don’t RSVP the S-R.

Fuhrman sightem: The latest Mark Fuhrman rumor has it that the ex-LAPD Blue tried to buy an in-state fishing license at a Bonner County marina. He had personal checks to prove his Sandpoint residency. But the clerks said unh-uh. They knew who he was and that he hadn’t lived here long enough (six months) to qualify. Fuhrman left without buying an out-of-state license either. … The CdA Resort probably deserves an attaboy for letting CdA High and LCHS golfers use its course for an upcoming match. But it could do better. It didn’t have to charge the kids $15 each for the thrill. Other courses allow them to golf free. (Yeah, I know, the resort course has the only floating green in the universe.)

We’re in the money: If state Treasurer Lydia Justice Edwards ever gets tired of banking Idaho’s millions, she should join the Coeur d’Alene School District. She’d get a pay raise. With this year’s raises, Edwards, Superintendent of Schools Anne Fox and state Controller J.D. Williams now earn $67,500 - $771 less than CSD finance director Dave Teater. … Fox would do well to swap places with CdA Superintendent Doug Cresswell, too. She’d have less work, far less headaches, and $9,000 more annually. … Before the raises, even curriculum director Hazel Bauman ($63,956) was making more than the three state officials.

Huckleberries: My bloodhounds say that KVNI soon will convert to alternative rock. … Sightem: North Idaho doesn’t have many good personal plates, but one spotted on a Wagoneer at CdA High isn’t bad: “EZ4U2SA.” … Sightem II: A sign at Meredith’s Repair Shop in Worley proclaims, “Unattended children will be sold as slaves.” … Presidents Day has messed us up. Most can’t remember if Lincoln was born Feb. 12 and Washington on Feb. 22, or vice versa. Local Republicans aren’t helping things either - by scheduling their annual Lincoln Day observance on April 19. … The sign inside Arby’s on Appleway Friday proclaimed: “No shoes. No snirt. No ervice.” I wouldn’t be caught in public without a snirt or an ervice.

Parting shot: Yes, attorneys are shameless sometimes. But CdA’s Scott Reed has taken the art to new heights. Scott represents a group of disgruntled neighbors who want the Festival at Sandpoint moved from its traditional Memorial Field location. But that didn’t stop him from being part of a group last week that had dinner - with festival artistic director Gunther Schuller. (I can hear him now: No sir, I’m not that Scott Reed.)

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