In The Lens Of A Camera, Powder Bunny Di Is Cast

Loose talk

Mia Tyler, 16, on the on-stage antics of her father, Aerosmith lead singer Steve Tyler (on “A Current Affair”): “Well, I mean, he stands there and he’s groping himself and he is 46 years old and he should not be doing that.”

Royal-watchers are getting a bit slack in their duties. They almost missed the sight of a British princess schussing the slopes at Vail, Colo.

Princess Diana was spotted in the company of Teddy Forstmann, a 54-year-old Wall Street rich guy who is said to be very single.

Imagine the humiliation of the British press, most of whom were following the rest of the Windsors as they skied at the Klosters in Switzerland. Their No. 1 photo target: the Duchess of York.

“She’s not fulfilling any public engagements,” a spokesman at Los Angeles’ British consulate said of Diana. “She’s probably just staying with friends on a holiday.”

Still, in some eyes, that’s big news. Said one free-lance photographer, “Fergie is good story, but Diana with a man is better.”

Holden and Phoebe, Franny and Zooey all send their best

J.D. Salinger turns 76 today.

They are not now, nor have they ever been, friendly travelers

Donald Trump claims that Prince Charles and Princess Diana have joined his exclusive Mar-a-Lago Club. That much we’ve reported. Trump claims to have handled the paperwork himself. But Buckingham Palace is calling the report a figment of Trump’s inspiration. “It’s complete nonsense,” a Buckingham Palace spokesman said Wednesday. “They have not joined the club.”

She was rehearsing a Marx Brothers routine for the royal follies

Still more Brit-royal news. Royal spokespeople are only now getting around to reporting that, on Dec. 11, Queen Elizabeth II used a seltzer bottle to put out a fire at Windsor Castle. The fire, caused by a wayward ember, didn’t pose a great threat, say the queen’s handlers, who further deny a tabloid report that she ended up covered in soot.

And as Forrest Gump would say, ‘Stupid is as stupid does’

Oh, heck, let’s just continue in a royal vein. Doris Lessing, the venerable British novelist, offered her view of the current Windsors. “First of all, none of them are very bright,” said Lessing, 75. “And (Prince) Charles has been so badly screwed up by his parents that he can’t behave normally. As for Diana, she’s a very silly little girl. We never knew how stupid they were before.”

They’re waiting for the ticket prices at Disneyland to go down

Now for a twist, some royal tidbits from Japan. Prince Akishino, the younger son of Emperor Akihito, and his wife Princess Kiko are the proud parents of their second child, a girl. Meanwhile, the emperor’s first-born son, Crown Prince Naruhito, has yet to provide an heir with his wife, the Harvard-educated Makaso Owada.

We hear he’s changing his name to Andre ‘Asbestos’ Rison

Rap singer Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes pleaded guilty to burning down the house of Atlanta Falcons receiver Andre Rison. Now she and Rison have found a novel way to resolve their differences. They’re getting married.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster