The Hot Seat The 1994 Parade Of Stars

Steve Hasson

Hot Seat highlights: Crazy from cornbread withdrawal, he lost his mind and tore down some anti-incorporation campaign signs. He jumped in a ditch to avoid being caught. He was unsuccessful but we appreciated it. During the summer, he really flubbed the dub when he lambasted a Boy Scout for stenciling warning signs on storm sewers. Naturally, we scorched his buns for that. Then, he told a California magazine that Spokane, where taxpayers pay his salary, is lacking in culture. Our letter-writers gave him a beating for that. Finally, he got caught pawing through Pat Mummey’s trash, snooping for a memo he thought might prove that possibly Mummey might be conducting an unethical campaign for coroner. Ssssst. Hasson is The Hot Seat King for 1994.

Tim ‘please don’t take a’ Bow-man

He was a late bloomer for the Idaho Hot Seat crown. It was a close race between the Bowman, the cat gangs in Post Falls and developer Dennis Swartout, who called his critics “a rats nest of Californians.” But ‘Buns Bowman’ wins for his persistence. He won the right to sit on City Beach with nothing but a nylon cord between his bare buns and the hot sand. Coming this spring: Hot Seat pea shooters.

The Republican Romp

Bob Dole has earned his position of considerable influence. But, he’s like the catcher on the Bad News Bears baseball team. Newt ‘Wild Thing’ Gingrich is the pitcher. ‘Wild Thing’ briefly tried to grab $4.5 million for a book deal, while proposing to take money from the poor at the same time. In the bullpen is Jesse ‘Bomb Thrower’ Helms, who recently threatened the President. D’Amato, Gramm and Armey are waiting in the wings, trying to be outrageous enough to crack the lineup. But don’t worry, Bob, we’ll have The Hot Seat ready if you need to make roster cuts.

MEMO: The Hot Seat is a feature of the Sunday Opinion page. If you would like to nominate someone for the Hot Seat, call Scott Sines at 459-5405.