Sage Advice Dr. Spock Is Worried About America’s Future And Offers Guidelines To Help Families Find Strength And Unity

Dr. Benjamin Spock - physician, political activist and author of the landmark parenting guide “Baby and Child Care” - worries about America’s future.

“Right now we’re on the skids,” 91-year-old Spock writes in his 17th and “final” book, “A Better World for Our Children” (National Press, $22.95).

Child neglect, unstable marriages, violence and materialism all are taking a terrible toll. “When I look at our society and think of the millions of children exposed every day to its harmful effects,” he writes, “I am near despair.”

But it’s not too late to turn things around, Spock insists, “if enough people are concerned and get involved in changing what’s wrong with society. … It’s up to each of us to help create a better world for our children.”

He suggests these steps toward building strong, positive family values:

Family meals

Eat together as often as possible, certainly several full family dinners a week. Involve everyone: Young children can set the table and older ones can clear up. Share lots of conversation, but avoid criticism or scolding at mealtimes.

Family meetings

Hold weekly gatherings to plan family activities, trips and vacations and discuss both immediate and persistent problems. Share with each other schedules, plans, problems and accomplishments, likes and dislikes. Everyone has an agenda item and children’s opinions count.

Quiet time

Schedule daily stress-reduction periods when the whole household is quiet. No television, record players or loud activity. Find a form that suits your family: reading, meditation, prayer, exercise, yoga, massage.

Community service

Volunteer time and talent to worthy causes, with parents setting the model for children: hospital or clinic work, transportation or care for the elderly, meals-on-wheels, service on church committees, helping the homeless, other community or public service activities.

Participating in school

Tutor younger children if they fall behind. Become involved with children’s teachers and administrators to understand and influence school policy. Participate in PTA. Help with after-school or summer-vacation activities, coach teams, organize teen activities.

Family recreation

Take regular family walks, hikes, bike rides or other activities that adults and children can enjoy together, either spontaneous or planned. Show children that recreation is important for all ages, not just for the young.

Making or building things together

Share creative activities that have tangible results, such as cooking, sewing, music, kitchen-table crafts and science projects, toy making and model building. Let children take the lead, and go for accomplishment, not perfection.

Family outings

Share organized trips to local fairs, sporting events, picnics, concerts and performance art, fishing trips or other activities that the family enjoys doing together. Give equal time for everyone’s interests without excluding anyone.

Bringing children to work

With the employer’s cooperation, let children see the other part of adult life away from home. Explain your skills and knowledge, the equipment you use, your responsibilities and the end result of useful work.

Family vacations

At least once a year, travel away from home so everyone can relax and have a good time. Discuss vacation ideas with children, let them know what to expect, and give older children a voice in making vacation plans in advance.

Limited television

Watch television with children, monitor what they watch, and discuss what they see, at home and at friends’ houses. As children mature, set mutually agreed limits on times and types of programming.

Staying involved

Keep informed about community and national issues that affect your children. Become involved in the causes that matter to you. Write newspaper editors, participate in committee meetings and join policy groups. Vote regularly, and take your child along to see how it’s done. Run for office. Let children know your concerns and opinions, and listen to theirs.