Rodney’s No Danger To Nude Women Anywhere

Here’s a riddle: When do you win but lose at the same time? Ask Rodney Dangerfield. The comedian sued Star magazine for defamation, charging that the tabloid rag had erred while writing stories characterizing him as a vodkaguzzling, dope-smoking woman-chaser.

For the record, the Star quoted Caesars Palace employees as saying that Dangerfield danced nude, tore up his hotel room and chased a women while threatening to tear her clothes off with a pair of ice tongs.

And he won. He was awarded damages, including amounts meant to cover emotional distress and defamation.

But according to Dangerfield, he lost, too. The total award was barely $45,000, far less than the $4 million that he’d asked for. Dangerfield’s lawyer, Barry Langberg, described the ruling “ridiculous.”

Cybill Shepherd on marriage (on “Cybill”): “It’s amazing how quickly “til death do us part’ turns into ‘What was I thinking?”’ Her 15 minutes is just beginning

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen turns 21 today.

He was only trying to reach out and touch his fans

The quote: “What can I do about it? I guess I could go out there and arrest Garth Brooks.” The speaker: Grapevine, Texas, Police Chief Tom Martin. The significance: Martin was responding to complaints on Wednesday that a call-in promotion for a Brooks television special had tied the city’s phone lines up for more than two hours.

We’re sure she has Meryl Streep potential

Yes, it’s true. Cindy Crawford, after a three-month stint in acting school, is set to begin shooting her first motion picture titled “Fair Game.” “It’s scary to do your first,” Crawford said Thursday at a news conference with co-star William Baldwin. “People will be anxious to criticize. It just felt like the right time to take that chance. Hopefully, people won’t be too hard on me, but I’m just going to do the best I can.”

She’s cleaned the cats and dogs from her lawn

Life in Southern California is beginning to wear on some residents. “We’re peeling off our wet suits,” says Jamie Lee Curtis. “I’m buying locust repellent next.”

Besides, you can always rent one at Disneyland

Don’t talk to Jodie Foster about biological clocks. “There is nothing that annoys me more than all of my friends who are over 40 who desperately want to have children by 50 because basically they want someone to love them,” she told Ladies’ Home Journal. “It’s too desperate. If I have kids, I have them. If I don’t, I don’t.”

These days, she’s no longer so vain

She once had no secrets, but now Carly Simon has no regrets. “In my life now I care less what people think,” she says. “I don’t mind hearing a dissenting voice. I don’t look to everybody with, ‘What do you think of this?”’

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster