Some In-Laws Just Don’t Fit The Mold The Slice Asks Readers “Who Has The Best In-Laws In Spokane?”

Long before male bashing, liberal bashing and all the various other categories of gratuitous grouptrashing became popular pastimes, there was in-laws bashing.

It has been around as long as marriage. People who grew up watching “The Ed Sullivan Show” heard comedian after comedian trot out lame jokes about meddling mothers-in-law. And not much has changed since then.

Of course, the truth is, well, the truth is a lot of people don’t get along with their spouse’s family. No sense denying it.

The Slice recently asked readers: Who has the best in-laws in Spokane? And one of the first faxes read: “Any person not residing in Spokane (with their in-laws in Spokane) has the best in-laws!” But there’s another side to the story. And Jan Brandvold was one of the dozens who told it.

“Without a doubt, I have the best in-laws in the Spokane area,” she wrote. “They are generous without getting carried away, have always supported the way we have raised our children, never interfere with our decisions, are willing to do anything for us (once they took a week off work on short notice, so they could baby-sit our two then-toddlers while we went to Hawaii on a trip we won). They have a sense of humor and I have never been on anything but the best of terms with them for the almost 25 years I have been married to their son. Their names are Rosemary and Dick Brandvold, and I love them dearly!” Theresa Murphy feels the same way about her in-laws. “One time, she came over to my house just to help me fold laundry,” she said. “Can you imagine?” Kevin Bricker had this to say about Jerry and June England, his wife’s parents: “I fell in love with them before I fell in love with their daughter.”

Becky Lewis doesn’t know what she would do without hers. “They add like another dimension,” she said. “Both my husband and I work all the time. And they come in and take the kids to the library, take them to pick fruit and all those things that back in the old days parents used to do and now gramma and grandpa do. And they’re really cool.”

Dave Green thinks so much of his mother-in-law that he has, on more than one occasion, been willing to risk the consequences of taking her side in minor disputes involving his wife.

Like others, Lauri Martin hears the horror stories people tell about interfering and otherwise obnoxious in-laws. So she counts her blessings. “When we got married, my father-inlaw goes ‘This is great - I’ve always wanted another daughter.”’

Jude Brown got divorced seven years ago and has since remarried. But about three months ago, she called her former father-in-law. “And the most touching thing was, after he picked his jaw up off the floor, he said ‘Judith, are you all right, do you need something?’ His first concern was for me. And if I had needed anything, he would have given it to me.”

Arni Johnson described her in-laws as “positive, upbeat Christian people with a good outlook and good attitude.”

She added: “And what I really appreciate is they don’t try to tell me how to live my life. They don’t interfere in our marriage. They don’t interfere in how we raise our children. They’re just friends.”

Of his mother-in-law, Dick Ripley said: “My kids are in their 30s and they still think that Santa Claus is a gray-haired lady who drives a brown Mercury … she’s a beautiful, beautiful woman.”

T.J. Tombari remembers exactly when she knew she and her motherin-law were going to be close.

She and her husband were newlyweds visiting his parents’ large lake cabin. Tombari’s mother-in-law was there. And the younger woman was, well, nervous about sleeping with her husband under the same roof.

So she stayed up as late as possible, not wanting to confront the issue. But finally it came time to retire. “And when I turned down the covers I saw that she had put on our bed these hand-embroidered Mr. and Mrs. pillowcases that she had received as an anniversary gift 25 years earlier,” said Tombari. “It was just such a touching gesture.”

Scott Millsap loves his mother-inlaw, but that didn’t take much of an adjustment. She’s also his mother. (She is, today, married to his wife’s father.)

“We joke on holidays, ‘Where would you like to go this year - to your dad’s or to my mom’s?”’

Julia Hand wrote to praise her daughter’s in-laws, Bill and Betty Weller. “They are loving, supportive, creative and fun,” she said.

Gary Hutson said his mother-inlaw, Maggie Gunter, is the best anyone could have.

Candie Sharon nominated her husband’s parents. “They forgot the in-law part,” she faxed. “They just tell people that I’m their daughter (and I love it).”

Mary Ann Grant was the mother of three teenagers when she married her second husband. “And I often reflect on how my life changed upon merging with this remarkable family, and how stable my sons’ lives became the minute they met Joe and Lorraine and their son Tom,” she wrote. “They made a contribution that never stops. They were able to help young people believe in themselves by showing them they are loved and accepted.”

Jess Schloss wrote: “Willard and Lucille Connolly are the greatest. He and I love to go fishing, she makes the best flannel shirts in the world, there’s always a cold one in the refrigerator and best of all, I have their daughter.”

Marlene Thies, who has known her in-laws for 37 years, described them as “the glue that holds this family together.”

A few years ago, Mari Sullivan got a call from her daughter-in-law, Diane Sullivan. The younger woman had been watching a “Donahue” show in which several women were griping about their nagging mothersin-law. And she had felt compelled to phone her own mother-in-law and say that she loved her.

So Mari Sullivan wrote: “Now, Slice, I want you to know that I feel exactly the same about her.” Deanna Hawley considered the question of who has the best in-laws and weighed in with this answer: “My husband, Doug.”

Fighting words? Nah, not really. “Actually, we both have the best,” she diplomatically added.

But no report on in-laws would be complete without a salute to one of the things that makes many of them so lovable. Their checkbooks.

“My in-laws (Kathy and Bill Fisher) are the best because one of these days - in the near future? - they are going to take me to Hawaii, like they do every March,” faxed A. Chavez. “Please remind them so they won’t forget.”