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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Deputy Had Just The Ticket For Lovebirds

D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Rev

KCSO Deputy Barry Alleman is my kind of cop. Recently, Alleman pulled over two Washington lovebirds hot-footing it to a Coeur d’Alene hitching post. The parents of the young fella had given him $250, and he was ready to tie the knot. Deputy Alleman tried to let the prospective groom off with a warning for going 60 mph in a 45 zone. But he didn’t have a driver’s license. Nor did his fiancee. In fact, both had had their licenses suspended. The deputy didn’t want to be a party pooper, but that was way over the line. (Read, go directly to jail; do not pass “Go.”) The driver used $240 of his windfall for bail. Bet that put a damper on his honeymoon plans.

Jailhouse blues: Kootenai County jailbirds thought they’d initiate their new nurse properly. But they didn’t count on Los Angeles transplant Denise Huffman being jailwise. Several asked jailers to take them to her office, complaining of an inability to urinate. Miraculously, however, they were healed when Denise reached for a catheter. … The recent Indian Gaming Magazine referred to Coeur d’Alene Tribe press secretary Bob Bostwick as a “tribal member.” He’s not. The ex-Spokane newscaster classifies himself as an enrolled WASP-Okie. … Apparently, state Rep. Wayne Meyer, R-Rathdrum, has taken literally the advice given to all freshmen: Be seen and not heard. When Meyer rose to speak Thursday, the next-to-last day of the 1995 session, a veteran Statehouse reporter stared at him and said, “Who’s this? I’ve never seen him before.”

Rap is b-b-b-bad: Tax activist Dee Lawless wants rap music banned in Post Falls schools. Said she to the school board: “I think schools should and could do more to teach good moral standards.” But Trustee Ed Adamchek was ready for the criticism. He’d seen several rap bands recommended on a contemporary Christian music list. Replied Ed: “If they’re selling rap music down at the Bible Book Nook, I can’t see that there’s anything terribly wrong with it.”

Let’s play ball: Statehouse reporters owe AP’s Bob Fick a debt of gratitude for the session’s midafternoon adjournment Friday. He used his pull as a University of Missouri alum to land a couple of $63 tickets to that night’s NCAA tournament game between the Tigers and Indiana at Boise State. And he got extras for Senate President Pro Tem Jerry Twiggs. The final gavel came down 3-1/2 hours before tipoff. … Hmmmm. For $3,111, you and your mate can cruise to Scandinavia and Russia with ex-Gov. Cecil Andrus and his missus. I wonder if ol’ Cece finally has taken a freebie - now that he’s free to do so.

Huckleberries: The Idaho Education Association didn’t appreciate a Statehouse prank last week. Near the Idaho Senate copy machine, someone taped a piece of paper with the word “Dial-A-Joke” in capital letters and the IEA’s 800 number underneath. … Hmmmm. The homes along East Lakeshore Drive are beautiful. But a real-estate broker went too far in an ad when he described the beachfront for an $895,000 home as “200 feet of white sandy beach.” Maybe there’s imported white sand at ritzy Casco Bay. But Sanders? C’mon. … A friend in the wheelchair brigade wonders why the Coeur d’Alene office of U.S. Sen. Dirk Kempthorne, R-Idaho, is up two stairs - without any other access. Good question.

Parting shot: A “concerned citizen” (read, busybody) complained recently that Hauser Lake volunteer Tim Patterson wore a dirty EMT jacket into Tidyman’s. This according to Hauser Thoughts, D.J. Nall’s monthly newsletter. Yes, the jacket - the first one ever purchased for the volunteer fire department - is in bad shape. But you’d be too if you’d been under a train rescuing a crash victim, at the scene of 15 automobile accidents, been bled on while Tim was helping a shooting victim, and much more. Tim can’t get it clean any more. Maybe the grouser should buy him a new one.

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The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review

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