Bottom Lines Columnist Jim Kershner’s Take On The News
A tough position to stake out
Don’t you envy the task those Democrats have given themselves? They have to convince the country that the Republicans want to do a horrible, shocking thing: Cut our taxes.
Oh, no, anything but that
Oh, please, you big mean Republicans, don’t do that to us. Don’t throw us in that there briar patch.
Everybody wants to balance it, sort of
The Democrats also want to balance the budget, but they’re not being fanatics about it. They want to reduce the deficit, too, if it’s not too much trouble.
There’s no accounting for it
I finally figured out how America got into such a huge deficit hole. The Treasury Department hired the same accountants as “Forrest Gump.”
Thank goodness it wasn’t a bomb
“Forrest Gump” is $60 million in the red, despite being one of the most popular movies of all time. How did this happen? Did the price of Bubba Gump’s shrimp plummet?
That shocking term-limits ruling
Gee. What a surprise. The Supreme Court ruled that we ought to be able to vote for whomever we darn well please.
No use arguing about it now
It makes no difference whether Tom Foley was, or was not, vindicated by the Supreme Court’s term-limits decision. His term was already limited the old-fashioned way.
Let the wild rumpus begin
The Commercial Building on West First lost its federal money last month because its rules discriminated against drug addicts and drunks. To get its funding back, the building has been designated an official federal Party Zone.
Some sweet smelter nostalgia
They’re going to demolish those big smokestacks in Kellogg. Excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye. Either I’m getting sentimental about smelters in my old age, or I’m still feeling the effects of those lead-based emissions.
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