Circle Of Love An Infant’s Untimely Death Prompts A Family To Issue A Challenge To Our Community
It has been some weeks since my family experienced the tragic loss of little Chelsey Michelle York. As part of my own healing process, I would like to share some thoughts and perspectives on this tragedy and issue a community challenge.
For family members, the pain and anguish associated with the death of a child, for any reason, come over you in waves. It often feels like you will drown in them. To have a child taken from you through a brutal murder is beyond all reason. Ten-month-old Chelsey was taken from her family, friends and community in this terrible way. For our family it was the worst of all nightmares.
Though she had not yet reached her first birthday, Chelsey filled a very large place. She was a daughter, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, a cousin and a niece. Everyone touched by this terrible event shares common emotions; shock, disbelief, anguish, anger and deep sadness.
Many have expressed feeling personally and emotionally violated. It is as if the perpetrator of this unspeakable crime had attacked each of our families and murdered our sense of security and well-being. This feeling of vulnerability makes us fear what we dare only to imagine. Could this happen to us and to ours?
Children are not supposed to die. They are supposed to live, to grow and to flower as we all watch. From the moment a child is born, the family and its different members begin to plan, to dream, to prepare the celebrations of childhood events: first birthdays, first jack-o’-lanterns, first Christmases, school days, parties, campouts, successes and even failures. So it was with us and Chelsey Michelle. Her brief time with us is replete with pictures and memories of every event. Each event was celebrated in anticipation of the next. Never did we think that it would come to such a cruel end. And now all the hopes and dreams, all the planned-for celebrations are gone, all stolen by a thief of the worst kind.
A thief, a stranger, who has stolen the light from Chelsey’s eyes, the twinkle from her ready smile, and the unbridled promise of her future.
Many years ago a senior member of our family said, “You don’t know what pain is until your children are in pain.” Each of us in our own way has relived those final moments of baby Chelsey’s life. We have shared the fear, sheer terror, and the pain she must have experienced at the hands of the man who assaulted and murdered her. Our images of that moment will never leave us and will be relived forever.
CHELSEY AND THE STRANGER
A stranger moves within the fold His eyes are mean; his heart is cold. He seeks his target, small and frail. His punishing hands make her wail. Is there no protection for one so small? No loving mother to hear her urgent call? Pain. Now silence. The light grows weak and dim. Her young life extinguished because of him.
Written by Susan Edmundson, a friend of the family
During the days and weeks since her murder, all of Chelsey’s family have had to experience her loss again and again in many different ways. Chelsey’s parents have had to endure the crushing silence of her absence, the loss of the simple joy of her presence, the completeness that only a child can bring. I have watched her young father try to deal with all his memories of her; the pictures, toys, clothing, and furniture. His loss is constantly refreshed by other children and other parents, by commercials on television, and by the unintended and even supportive comments of others.
For her grandparents, the loss is magnified by the specialness that can only be had between grandchildren and grandparents. A grandchild is such a wonderful gift; a chance to be a part of a growing child’s life again. To lose it is a deep and painful wound. On some days the pain of the loss is simply too big for them to get their minds around and too heavy for them to carry. Other days it is like quicksilver that runs between their fingers as they try to get control of it.
To those like myself, members of Chelsey Michelle’s extended family, while different in some ways, our loss is also great. We feel the anger and helplessness of having our family’s security eroded. We look at all the other babies and youngsters in our family and worry for their safety. We know that all the family gatherings, all summer vacations, all holiday reunions will never be the same again. We spend hours trying to support each other, trying to help our other children deal with this tragedy and to lessen their concerns and fears.
While it is not always effective, we try to ease our fear and pain by imagining little Chelsey in a much better place, free of fear and pain.
SWEET CHELSEY
A small new star hangs in heaven’s fading light, A fragile butterfly before unseen takes soft and gentle flight. The ever mortgaged cost, a sun for us forever darker, All breath, all moment, all shadows, for us forever longer.< She plays today full free of pain, full free of fear, With all of us and with her god always and forever near.
Written by Chelsey’s great uncle Curt
We take some solace and comfort from the knowledge that though our loss is great, Chelsey gave life to four other people through the use of her organs. A 2-year-old girl in Florida and a man in Pennsylvania received life-giving contributions from Chelsey. While we deal with our heavy loss, we pray for their full and speedy recovery. Two other organs will be made available as the need arises.
As individuals and as a family we have asked ourselves over and over: How could this have happened? And why? We have no answers. We know we share this agony with all too many other families. While there are some patterns in situations related to child neglect and abuse, no situation should result in the abuse or death of an innocent child. No situation, no stress should ever be placed in balance with the safety and welfare of a child. No frustration, no irritation placed on any adult is ever reason to brutalize a child.
Nature’s most basic law, that we protect our young, is the primary reason for the existence of families, of communities, and for any kind of civilized society. To break that law, to hurt, injure, or to kill a child is the most uncivilized act anyone can commit. The cost for committing such a heinous crime against nature, against family, against community, must carry a very high price. It is our hope that the man responsible for the death of our sweet Chelsey will pay the highest price available under our community’s laws. We as a family intend to do everything we can to ensure that a full and complete prosecution takes place in this case. We will continue to suffer her loss forever. Our hope is that his punishment will last as long.
As those of us who knew and loved her find ways to celebrate her brief time with us, we believe gentle Chelsey speaks to us …”don’t let this tragedy happen to another family or to another community.” Chelsey cries out to us to care for, to love, and to protect all of our children. The loss of Chelsey’s precious life and the loss of so many others has shown us that we cannot be whole without all of our children. Chelsey will not be forgotten because she touched us all. However, that is not enough. Chelsey asks us all, each and every one; What will we do to re-dedicate ourselves to never let this happen again? We must challenge ourselves.
We must remember, a child in waiting, innocent Chelsey, is waiting for our answer.
THE MASTERPIECE
A child is the Master work of art,
its perfect toes, smile and heart. Within each child a spirit strong,
to loving parents on earth belong. A crispy, cool morning, sun burning bright, A child is born—the world seems right. Wrapped in mommy’s loving arms,
and captivated by her Daddy’s charms. Grandma’s and Grandpa’s in two they came,
to share together her precious name. A babe so sweet, a miracle birth,
to share with us, her magnificent worth. So close to Heaven she came to teach. A joy for life, she taught us each. Her precious giggle, her wonderful laugh,
she showed us each our better half. Her gentle smiles, her innocent ways,
gives us our faith, throughout our days. She knew she was loved from mommy and dad,
from aunties and uncles; grandmas and granddads. Though taken so quickly, her memory lives on,
in stories and pictures she’ll never be gone. For her love was enough to fill a well,
forever in our hearts,
Little Chelsey Michelle.
Written by Cami Sue Peterson, Chelsey’s Aunt
MEMO: This sidebar appeared with the story: SOCIETY’S CHARGE There are many ways we as individuals and as a community can begin to meet the challenges posed by the abuse of our children. * We must become aware of the immensity of this problem and break the ugly secret of child abuse. Locally, at least six children have been killed. Nationally, more than 1,000 die each year. Over one million cases of confirmed abuse and neglect were counted in a recent survey. * We can educate ourselves to the signs of child abuse and to understanding the circumstances leading to abuse. Single parenting, drugs, alcohol, poverty and previous abuse are but a few. * When we see abuse, we must report it. The chain of abuse and abuser will not be broken if we do not act. * We can work to be sure that once the abusers are identified they are prosecuted to the greatest extent of the law. Plea bargains, reduced or minimum sentences must not be tolerated. * We can identify and support those agencies and offices responsible for working to protect our children. They must have the communities’ support and resources to carry on this very important task. * We must educate and train ourselves to deal with our stresses and problems in more positive ways so as to shelter our children and keep them from harm’s way. Curtis L. Leggett