Maybe It’s Time For Bond To Try His Martinis Stirred

Wed., Nov. 29, 1995

Jessica Johnson, Lakewood

I love James Bond movies. They consistently deliver an exotic escape from the trials of daily life into a world of danger and espionage. The style of these films is so timeless that I never thought the end of the Cold War would pose a threat to Bond’s existence. What could send Bond into oblivion is deadly routine.

“Goldeneye” does just that. It’s just another Bond flick. James, along with his beautiful sidekick (a very likable character, thanks to Izabella Scorupco), must save the world from an evil villain (Sean Bean) and a new weapon, a satellite called Goldeneye.

James plays baccarat on the French Riviera with the lethal Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen). He gets lessons from Q, and he takes orders from the first female M, played by Dame Judi Dench. He orders his martini shaken, not stirred - all that typical James Bond stuff.

There are tanks, trains, boats and airplanes; there are awesome explosions. Even the opening sequence, which features naked women dancing on broken statues of Soviet leaders, is authentic Bond. The screenwriters made sure to include every Bond detail, right down to Miss Moneypenny.

They also have run out of fresh material. The car chase at the beginning of the film is borrowed from “Goldfinger,” a Sean Connery classic. In addition, Pierce Brosnan just doesn’t make a compelling Bond. He doesn’t say much, and any dialogue he does utter is usually in the form of a sarcastic one-liner. He’s as cool as ice, but when compared with Connery (the standard for all Bonds), Brosnan doesn’t cut it.

“Goldeneye” certainly has its strong points. Most notably, it’s humorous, unlike previous Bond movies. The supporting cast, including Joe Don Baker as a CIA agent working with Bond, provides comic relief from endless chases and gun fights.

I’m betting “Goldeneye” launches the careers of Janssen, who was appropriately lusty as Onatopp, and Scorupco, who was a tough, intelligent yet tender Bond girl.

Some critics have suggested that “Goldeneye” should be the last Bond movie. I disagree. Bond is stuck in a rut, but all he needs is a giant boost from some inventive writers. It’s time for the audience to see another side of James Bond, maybe his human side. Bond must be reinvented to remain appealing.

If all you want is to sit in a dark theater with some popcorn and relax while watching a guy travel the globe, romance women and save the world, “Goldeneye” is a good bet. If you’re a James Bond aficionado looking for something new and exciting, don’t bother.

Grade: C+

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