Saddle Up For A Ride Into Town From The Big Valley

Mon., Oct. 9, 1995

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Do Spokane Valley residents ever go around humming the theme from that old TV western, “The Big Valley”?

It’s tough to impress someone from Spokane: A Swell Paper colleague was flying into Kentucky recently when the guy sitting next to him offered this advice, “One thing I’ll warn you about Lexington: When the light turns green, don’t go right away. People around here run red lights like you’ve never seen.”

Wanna bet?

The plea will be “Not guilty”: Another colleague has a son in first grade who recently came home with a preemptive denial on his lips. Without any prompting, he told his mom that if anybody claimed he kicked another kid, she shouldn’t believe it because it’s a lie.

Setting the record straight: The Slice once suggested that Spokane does not experience impressive thunderstorms. Well, after that late night boom-fest about a week ago, we stand corrected.

Idea for a real-life Halloween horror flick: “Water Damage III: It came from the bathroom above.”

Regarding “Apple Maggot Quarantine Area”: “What would happen if all the drivers who indeed HAD FRUIT would stop and place their fruit on the correct side of the signs that tell us not to `transport beyond this point”’? - Lyle Wagner, Farmington, Wash.

Slice answer: “My occupation is very, very poorly portrayed by TV and movies,” wrote Byron Cutting, a student at the University of Idaho who has worked as a lifeguard and camp counselor. “…`Baywatch’ is not the only offender.”

Warm-up questions: Is it just a coincidence that Canada’s Thanksgiving Day (today) comes right on the heels of the start of the National Hockey League season? What Spokane alley looks most like a B-movie crime scene?

Today’s Slice questions: If the Inland Northwest printed its own money, whose image would go on the dollar bill? What about the penny?

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