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All Barkley, no bite
NBA funnyman and Phoenix forward Charles Barkley recently walked into the office of Cotton Fitzsimmons and left a to-do list on the Suns coach’s blackboard.
No. 1: “Leave Chuck alone.”
No. 2: “Leave Chuck alone.”
No. 3: “Another day off.”
No. 4: “Buy team dinner.”
No. 5: “Leave Chuck alone.”
No. 6: “Lose in first round of playoffs.”
Damage control after every strikeout?
Florida Marlins right fielder Gary Sheffield’s image is not the best. After all, he’s been shot at, sued and stalked.
Maybe that’s why he has hired a personal publicist.
Marvet Britto already has arranged for her client to appear on a Mizuno billboard on the interstate outside Joe Robbie Stadium, prodded him to start the Gary Sheffield Foundation, set up an Armani fashion shoot in New York, and is working on a GQ cover and landing a role in Spike Lee’s proposed movie about Jackie Robinson. She has him taking public-speaking classes, filming a public-service announcement with Denzel Washington and appearing on stage with singer Anita Baker at a recent concert in Tampa.
Some days, he even finds time to play baseball.
New decade, same Cowboys?
William Bennett, who wrote “The Book of Virtues,” lamented the Dallas Cowboys’ off-field problems in an interview with Sports Illustrated last week.
“In the old days, the Cowboys were great, and you looked up to them,” Bennett told SI. “Now it’s different. Now you look down on them. … I think the Cowboys are hurting the country’s morale. As one Texan said to me recently, ‘If this is America’s team, then woe is America.”’
Baltimore Sun writer Vito Stellino is not convinced: “The Cowboys of this era haven’t done anything the Cowboys of the past didn’t do, but in the past it didn’t ruin the team image that (former Cowboys executive) Tex Schramm carefully cultivated.
“The difference in those days was that sports didn’t get the attention it does today. There was no cable TV, no ESPN, no sports talk radio.”
And no Michael Irvin.
King Gut
Stanley Roberts, the blubbery and often injured Los Angeles Clippers center, scored a season-high 25 points in a 102-89 victory over Portland on Monday. Afterward, Roberts pointed to the elaborate tattoo on his right bicep - it reads “The Franchise” - and proclaimed, “They didn’t give me that name for nothing.”
McDonald’s must be awfully proud. Or was it Burger King? Wendy’s?
The last word …
“The San Francisco Giants’ new ballpark will be named Pacific Bell Park, after the West Coast phone company. So a call from manager to bullpen might go something like this: ‘If you know the number of the pitcher you’re calling, enter it now along with the pound sign. Because he will get pounded.”’
- Los Angeles Daily News columnist Michael Ventre
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo