The Slice Every Morning, Masses Bow To Their Coffee God
Perhaps, like the Romans and the Norse, residents of the Inland Northwest ought to have their own set of mythological gods.
Only we wouldn’t have to take them seriously. How about Mighty Markdown, god of bargain-hunting. Or maybe Lilacquer, goddess of big hair
OK, your turn.
And this is supposed to be a family-friendly city: A friend said the eviction of those sparrows from that traffic light last week was just one more example of a struggling young couple getting hassled by the man.
Earth Day ranking of our favorite planets: 1. Earth (third year at No. 1). 2. Neptune (best name). 3. Venus (“Morning star” is poetic). 4. Saturn (boffo rings). 5. Pluto (it’s so out there). 6. Jupiter (big gas bag). 7. Mercury (too much like Arizona). 8. Uranus (susceptible to juvenile humor). 9. Mars (way overexposed).
Internet fever: A colleague’s personal guide to World Wide Web pages he’ll never check out includes “Anything to do with Bill Gates.”
They wouldn’t treat a man that way: “My fiance and I were at a well-known menswear house shopping for a suit for him for our wedding,” wrote a reader named Gloria. “He found a suit and a pair of shoes which came to almost $500. I bought him the shirt, tie, suspenders and socks and my bill came to $106. My fiance told the cashier he would have to transfer funds the next day to cover the check and I laughed about it being a rubber check. No questions asked. On the other hand, when I wrote a check for the $106, they called somewhere - perhaps my bank - and had my check verified.”
One cure for the blues: Find a group trying to arrange a snapshot and volunteer to take the picture for them so that everyone can be in the photo. Everybody ends up smiling.
The male mind - the early years: A friend’s 4-year-old boy embraced his sister, who is almost 3. “I love you, Rose,” he said. “Let’s fight.”
One more razor story: “Before I was old enough to understand, I remember hearing my older sister, Delores, call from the shower, ‘Get a band-aid, I cut myself shaving,”’ wrote Voni Tombari. “I still remember my confusion when I saw this huge gash on her big toe.”
Today’s Slice question: When you get on the bus and see that there are no completely empty seats, how do you determine where you will sit?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
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