Composer Created Two Legends Irving Gordon Wrote ‘Unforgettable’ And ‘Who’s On First’ Skit
Irving Gordon, the man who wrote Nat “King” Cole’s signature hit “Unforgettable,” died recently. You had to read his entire obituary to discover that he also wrote another unforgettable piece of Americana: Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s On First.”
The circumstances surrounding Gordon’s creation of this inspired bit of zaniness have apparently been lost like a pop fly in the sun.
Abbott and Costello popularized the routine in a 1945 movie called “Naughty Nineties,” though it first aired in 1938 on Kate Smith’s radio show. Since then, “Who’s On First” has always been associated with the two comedians, not Irving Gordon.
A continuous tape of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello performing the routine can be viewed daily at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., but there’s no mention of Gordon’s authorship. The entire script of the lengthy comedy bit is reprinted in “The Armchair Book of Baseball,” a collection of classic baseball writing compiled by respected diamond historian John Thorn, yet the author of the piece is listed as “Anonymous.”
In case you’ve never seen or heard the routine, here are a few excerpts:
COSTELLO: “I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the team.”
ABBOTT: “I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third.”
“You know the fellows’ names?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then who’s playing first?”
“Who.”
“The fellow’s name on first base?”
“Who.”
“The guy on first base?”
“Who is on first base.”
“What are you asking me for?”
“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Who is on first.”
“I’m asking you. Who’s on first?”
“That’s the man’s name.”
“That’s who’s name?”
“Yes.”
“Well, all I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.”
“No, no. What is on second base.”
“I’m not asking who’s on second.”
“Who’s on first.”
“What’s the guy’s name on first base?”
“What’s the guy’s name on second base.”
“I don’t know.”
“He’s on third. We’re not talking about him.”
And on it goes. You could win a lot of bar bets by naming the nine members of the Abbott and Costello “Who’s On First” baseball team - not to mention the name of the guy who invented them:
1B - Who
2B - What
3B - I Don’t Know
SS - I Don’t Care
LF - Why
CF - Because
P - Tomorrow
C - Today
The routine does not mention a right fielder, so the secret to this bar bet is that there are only eight players on the Abbott and Costello (or Irving Gordon) Nine. No DH, either.
Gordon’s magnificent exercise in whimsy not only predates the DH, it predates just about everything we’ve come to dislike about baseball as it is practiced on the major league level today.