The Slice Santa Also Likes The Same Brand Of Scotch As Dad
Jenilee Whitney and her 38-year-old son James Knapp work for the same business.
And at a recent meeting of department managers, Knapp found himself signing a series of papers after Whitney had done the same. “Gee,” he said. “My mom’s signature looks just like Santa Claus’.”
Variation on a theme: “When I went to California to meet my biological father and grandparents, my grandfather asked where I lived,” wrote Coeur d’Alene’s Terry Lloyd. “I replied ‘Idaho.’ He asked, ‘So what do you do for a living in Ohio?’ “
Alert the health department: “I’m leaving my sons’ school the other day at the same time as a mom hand-in-hand with her two preschoolers,” a colleague reported. “And one of them looks up at me and says, ‘We ate lunch in the bacteria today.’ “
Boots and Spot say “Happy New Year”: A survey of pet owners cited by The Boston Globe notes that a majority sign their pets’ names to holiday cards and letters.
Speaking of Christmas mail: Our pal Betsy Weigle gave us a copy of the spiffy year-in-review newsletter her family sent out this month. It features inviting graphics and a sense of humor. Called “The Weigle Gazette” (“Inside News on Spokane’s Favorite Family”), it just might be the best Christmas letter we’ve seen. Of course, we haven’t seen yours yet.
The four Roy Orbison songs most likely to wipe that smile off your face:
1. “It’s Over.”
2. “Only the Lonely.”
3. “Crying.”
4. “In Dreams.”
Sweeping Generalizations Department: If everyone in Southern California secretly wants to be in the movie industry and everyone in the District of Columbia yearns to be involved in politics, what does everyone in the Spokane area want?
More on Mrs. Claus: “I have it from an extremely reliable source that Santa Claus himself is writing a book about the true meaning of Christmas, to be published in late fall ‘97,” wrote Mitch Finley. “In this book Santa explains that Mrs. Claus’ first name is Emma, and her maiden name was Snoof, which explains why she was glad to change her name.”
Today’s Slice question: According to her daughter-in-law, Patty Douglas, the Spokane Valley’s Reva Stansbury buys Christmas presents for almost 80 people. Does anyone around here have a longer gift list?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing
MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Never trust people who appear to take their own grandiose job titles seriously.