The Slice Only Those Who Wear Flannel Should Offer Their Opinion

Lucy Cesaratto said her own uplifting experiences suggest that the Golden Rule - do unto others… - is the 1996 Code of the West.

We like that sentiment. But we’re declaring Hap Bell the marshal of Sliceland for the way he phrased it. He said the Code of the West is: “I won’t be wronged. I won’t be insulted. I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do these things to other people and I require the same from them.”

Other ideas included: “No coughing allowed around salad bars or buffets.” - Dorothy Kennedy

“Government leave us alone. Don’t tread on me.” - Phyllis Ells

“Respect individual privacy, yet possess an abundance of community generosity.” - Sharon Marll

“Mind your own business and keep your nose out of mine.” - F.Q. McCarrell

“Smile when you talk to people and check your guns at the door.” - Marcel Chevillet

“See who can flash the fastest middle trigger finger, the person running the red light or you.” - Ron Blank

“Hit me again.” - Frances Cornell

“Be thoughtful, courteous, loving and kind. Protect the old folks, children and pets, and keep your right hand firmly on the butt of your pistol.” - Patricia Klingbeil

“When skiing…wipe your goggles clear, THEN blow your nose in that order.” - Dave Scher

“Have a small town attitude, drive like you have time to get there in a vehicle that is not a 4x4 in your blue jeans, cowboy boots and any kind of hat.” - B.J. Freeman

“Think straight, talk straight, shoot straight and don’t be too surprised if you get a discrimination lawsuit by someone who isn’t.” - James Youngman

The dogs were never told who swiped ‘em: About five years ago, Tom Orser was heading out the door and grabbed what he thought was his lunch. But later that day Orser, who has passed away, discovered that the bag he had picked up contained the family dogs’ peanut butter biscuits.

Two mints in one: Nancy Engard brought a cake to her office that said “50,000 miles” when her beloved old Camaro hit that odometer mark.

And “At the Garfield Union Warehouse” was Sally Reid’s idea for the title of a country song.

Today’s Slice question: How can you tell when a church usher has become drunk with power?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

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