She’s Just Jealous ‘Cause He Looks Better In Tights

We hate to break it to you on a day like this, but following a 58-year fling, Lois Lane and Superman have called it quits.

In a comic out today, Lois dumps the Workaholic of Steel after he flies away from a heart-to-heart to conduct superhero business.

Future issues will show Supe (as alter ego Clark Kent) lip-locked with Lori Lemaris, his old mermaid pal, while Lois takes up with Peter Parker, aka Spiderman.

A temporary detour, like the time Superman “died” in 1992? “It’s one thing to conquer death,” a DC Comics spokeswoman said. “It’s another thing to make a woman happy.”

But editor Mike Carlin added: “This is just a natural course of events in real life. If you’re a Superman you just have super versions of the same problems we all have.”

Loose talk

Brooke Shields, on her romance: “Andre Agassi is not a gifty-jewelry person. He’ll buy you a car. He’ll get your house painted, or you’ll come back and your garage will be de-spidered.”

He’ll probably be hearing from his Penn pal

Teller turns 48 today.

But the tabloids always play it as it lies

Speaking of Superman, Robin Williams said on Monday’s “Day and Date” TV show that he’s not paying for old pal Christopher Reeves’ medical bills, as previously reported (and repeated here). Said Williams: “It’s not true, and a good lie does not make it better than a bad lie.”

And what about the inflationary pressures?

Back on the heart beat, former “Mayflower Madam” Sydney Biddle Barrows sent a copy of her latest sex manual, “Just Between Us Girls,” to Hillary Rodham Clinton as a Valentine’s Day gift, with a note reading: “Good relations are right up there on the agenda with welfare reform and reducing the national debt.”

Especially the ones you’re still hung up on

Crown Publishers has backed out of a book deal with performance artist Karen Finley (best known for smearing herself with chocolate) for a parody of Martha Stewart’s lifestyle books, also published by Crown. Finley’s advice for celebrating Valentine’s Day: call your ex-lovers and hang up when they answer.

Plus the old O.J. favorite, ‘If I Had a Hammer’

What’s the best song to help you get over a broken heart? In a poll for the 1-800 Music Now telephone service, Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” was the women’s top choice, while men opted for Michael Bolton’s “When I’m Back On My Feet Again.” Among the other vote getters: Travis Tritt’s “Here’s a Quarter (Call Somebody Who Cares).”

Looks like home really is where the heart is

And a Red Lobster survey shows Demi Moore was the celebrity most men would like to share a Valentine’s Day lobster dinner with, while Brad Pitt was the pick among women. But 62 percent of men - and 67 percent of women - picked their own spouse or significant other.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino