The Slice When You Hear Siren’s Song, Toss The Press Truck A Tow Line

The frequency of emergency vehicles’ sirens in your neighborhood is a sure sign that: a.) You’re living in a new Spokane-based cop show. b.) Nothing bad ever happens where you live. c.) You are the only person on your block not currently in the act of violating parole. d.) Your neighbors dial 9-1-1 whenever the wind rattles their windows. e.) Wealth CAN insulate you from certain realities. f.) Four out of five Spokane area fleeing felons prefer your street for high-speed chases. g.) It’s Bloomsday, time to look out and see if the press truck will collapse again.

On knowing the difference between a living room and a theater: “I am continually amazed that one can go to a concert, play, movie or other performance here in Spokane and have people around them talk and carry on as if there was nothing happening,” wrote D. Louise Calibo.

Great moments in parenting: Spokane’s Scott Griffith wonders how many people pushing shopping carts have accidentally run over someone else’s out-of-control kids.

(He recently had an encounter with a little girl who had placed her hooded jacket on backward and, without being able to see, was wandering about like a zombie.)

Coming up: There’s still time to sign up for Monday’s Spring Conference for Seniors (55 and up) at Spokane Community College. It’s a varied, day-long package of mini-courses, seminars, demonstrations and more. Call 533-3770 or 533-3393.

And there’s a big crafts sale in St. John on Saturday, starting at 10 a.m. Proceeds go to help two young women with cancer. Call (509) 648-3331 or (509) 648-3242.

Real Inland Northwest women: Use push-mowers.

Real Inland Northwest men: Say “Stay with it, honey. Remember, you’re helping the environment.”

If WSU had been located in Spokane: Pullman residents wouldn’t have to spend half their time trying to keep track of which professors actually expect to be addressed as “Doctor” in restaurants, dry cleaners, et cetera.

No: Being a nostalgia buff in Spokane is NOT redundant.

Today’s Slice question: What do local business types think of someone having an alcoholic drink at lunch?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098.