Saving Family Time Put Important Matters First By Simplifying Your Life
When Alice went to the Mad Hatter’s tea party in Wonderland, she noticed that he was wearing a most unusual timepiece. “What a funny watch!” she observed. “It tells the day of the month but doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!”
That relaxed approach to time might sound like a dream come true to working parents, whose watches never seem to have enough o’clocks in the day to get everything done. In fact, a recent Working Mother survey found that when readers were asked what would bring them more happiness, they most often cited two factors - more time for themselves and more time with their families.
The solution, of course, lies not in wishing for more time but in using existing time more efficiently.
Small efficiencies - saving five minutes here, 10 minutes there - can add up. But gaining larger blocks of family time requires going beyond what one mother jokingly refers to as the “take-shorter-showers” school of time-saving advice. A more meaningful approach involves seeing the larger picture and sometimes changing fundamental ways that the household operates.
Here are some proven time-management techniques that simplify life so you can enjoy more time with your family:
Create a master plan
1. Consolidate lists and schedules into one planner, then keep it close at hand. This avoids losing track of commitments when you have one calendar at work and another at home.
2. Keep a family calendar. Tape a large monthly calendar on the refrigerator or mount an erasable bulletin board on the wall, listing everyone’s activities. Also include deadlines for long-term school projects. Try using a different colored marker for each member of the family.
3. Plan each day. The maxim that you have to spend money in order to make money also applies to time. Spend 10 minutes - early in the morning, on your lunch hour or before you go to bed - quietly reviewing what you must do in the next 24 hours. This helps you feel in control, cuts down on unfocused activity and helps you concentrate on the things that really matter.
4. Write family time into your schedule. If time together is a priority, don’t just hope it will magically appear after everything else on your long list has been checked off. Block off several hours on a Saturday afternoon, for example, even if you don’t yet have specific plans.
Get organized
5. Pare down your possessions. Simplify, simplify. Every object exacts a price beyond its initial cost in terms of cleaning, upkeep, storage. Ask yourself: Do we need this item? Do we use it? Do we like it? If the answer is no, throw it away, give it to a charity or sell it.
6. Maintain order. Who hasn’t known the frustration of searching frantically for something that is temporarily misplaced or buried amid clutter?
7. Keep a petty cash fund. If children need money for school lunches or transportation, calculate the total amount you need each week. When you do your banking, get enough dollar bills or small change to cover everyone’s needs. This saves frantic last-minute searches in wallets and pockets as the school bus approaches.
8. Use automatic bill-payment plans. Each automatic payment means one less check to write, one less stamp to lick, one less deadline to remember.
Reclaim lost time
9. Ration television time. Is your family watching too much TV? Even one less sitcom produces 30 minutes of “found time” a day. Choose programs carefully, then use the extra time for more interactive activities - working a puzzle, playing a game, reading a story together.
10. Don’t overschedule your school-age kids. Too many commitments can be counterproductive, straining children as well as parents, who must arrange for transportation. Children need some downtime when they come home. If they’re all worn out, they won’t be able to enjoy time together with the family.
11. Establish a sensible bedtime for children. Teachers report that more and more children are arriving at school and child-care centers tired because they stay up too late. When children are well-rested, the whole family functions more efficiently. Tucking children in at a reasonable hour also gives parents a much-needed chance to relax.
12. Beware the mall. Everyone needs to shop for clothes and other items, of course. But simply wandering aimlessly through the mall as a form of family entertainment on weekends can leave everyone feeling unsatisfied. Instead, substitute more active, truly family-centered activities.
Double the value of time
13. Involve children in everyday tasks. These might include preparing dinner, setting the table, folding the laundry, sorting recyclables, washing the car. Working together offers a good chance for conversation and connection.
15. Be mindful of small opportunities. Every moment you have with your family is precious, but transitions - when you leave your youngster at child care, or kiss your spouse goodbye in the morning - are especially important because they can create a closeness that remains with you all day. Treat these times thoughtfully.
Protect family time
16. Use the answering machine. Turn it on when you want to avoid interruptions during mealtime, family activities.
17. Establish “touch-base times” when family members connect with one another. Working parents feel more in control of limited family time and work more efficiently when they can count on regular connecting points during the day, such as breakfast, an after-school phone call and dinner.
18. Try to work efficiently on the job so you can leave your work at the office. And before you leave at night, try spending 15 minutes clearing up your desk and making a list of the things you need to do tomorrow. That will allow you to sign off so you won’t be carrying a mental burden home.
19. Set priorities. Some days, of course, even the best efforts to use time efficiently still don’t seem to be enough. In such cases, the best solution is to focus on the most urgent priorities and let go of lesser details, such as housework.
MEMO: Marilyn Gardner is a reporter for the Christian Science Monitor specializing in work/family issues. This story was distributed by the Los Angeles Times Syndicate.