Move On With Life, Friendships

Dear Nancy: I am a 71-year-old widow and for most of my life I’ve enjoyed my dreams. They were fun and interesting. For the past year I’ve remembered very few and this one shocked and disturbed me. - Emily

I am in a grave and dirt is being shoveled on me. I begin clawing my way through the dirt to reach the surface. I’m in a terrible panic and can’t breathe. Finally I reach the surface and can see the legs of the men throwing the dirt in the grave. I wake up in a panic and have a terrible time regaining my breath. I am drenched with sweat and shaking.

Dear Emily: Dreaming of being buried alive can suggest several things. On the phone you shared that you are living alone on a large ranch and feel the burden of your many responsibilities. Your husband’s death left you to take care of the place and animals by yourself. Do you feel “buried” by all the responsibility?

The men in your dream may represent the work your husband used to do around the ranch. These tasks are burying you.

We can also look at the dream from the perspective that a part of you feels dead. Have you mourned the loss of your husband? Have you somehow “buried” yourself in your work or been holding yourself back from living a full life? Recovery from the death of a spouse not only takes time, it requires developing a life that is rich in friendships and activity.

Could the dream be a warning that someone wants to see you buried? Do you feel pressured by anyone to do things their way, letting them take over?

You resolve the dream by “clawing” your way out of the grave. This is a positive indication that you have the strength and willpower to overcome whatever it is that oppresses you, Emily.

Tips for readers: Last week we explored the meaning of obstacles and hostile dream figures in dreams. Here are a couple of concluding thoughts on the subject:

As we noted last week, sometimes we dream of figures such as thieves and thugs to call attention to our feelings of victimization. Remember to ask yourself, “In what way do I feel like a victim? What is robbing me of my energy, time, money, etc.?”

Often these hostile dream figures are a part of you that is demanding your attention. Are you stealing from or depriving yourself in some way? Negativity and fear are powerful inner robbers and inhibit us from freely expressing ourselves.

Oftentimes these dream thieves are after our purses and wallets, the places we carry our identification and other valuables. This suggests that issues of identity and individuality need to be addressed.

When we can identify and acknowledge these inner and outer situations that suppress our own natural spirit, we can then make appropriate changes and live richer, more authentic lives.

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

, DataTimes MEMO: Nancy Huseby Bloom has studied dreams for 16 years. Dreams may be sent to her c/o The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615, or fax, (509) 459-5098. Please send a short summary of the circumstances in your life and include your name, address and phone number. Nancy conducts dream groups on a regular basis. For information, call 455-3450.