At Least You Did Right Thing

Dear Ann Landers: Thanks to Hurricane Fran, I became the owner of my neighbors’ pine tree when it toppled over into my yard, barely missing my house. It completely tore away one side of my 30-year-old prized maple tree and destroyed my outdoor furniture.

I thought my neighbors would be responsible for the removal of this huge tree and for damages to my property. I was wrong. My neighbors’ insurance company called this an act of God and said all expenses incurred are my responsibility.

I say this is an act of stupidity. It helps pit neighbor against neighbor. You get stuck repairing the fence and replacing the flattened shrubs while the neighbors are down at the nursery picking out a lovely Japanese maple that will look much better than the old pine tree they didn’t want. This is not right, and it’s not fair.

Years ago, when one of my trees fell into our neighbors’ yard, I had it removed at my own expense. I didn’t even bother to call the insurance company, even though it may well have picked up the tab. I was raised to take responsibility for whatever happened on my property and not try to dump it on someone else. How can I expect to teach my children to take responsibility to right the wrongs they bring on others when insurance companies are telling them not to bother? Kids live what they learn. - Can’t See the Forest for the Trees

Dear Friend: Children are raised by parents, not insurance companies. Their concepts of right and wrong are established long before they learn anything about indemnity.

The example you set by paying for the damage done when your tree fell on the neighbors’ property will have done more to shape their character than all the preaching in the world. Congratulations.

Dear Ann Landers: I have three truly beautiful children. Our oldest daughter was born with a port-wine birthmark on the right side of her cheek. She is 9 years old now, old enough to understand the looks of revulsion and curiosity from strangers. We have spent her entire life trying to build her self-esteem, only to have some thoughtless idiot ask questions about what’s on her face, which of course makes her feel as if she is a freak.

I don’t understand people like that. Why do folks attach so much importance to a person’s outward appearance? True beauty is inside. Why can’t people see how delightful and charming our little girl is and not focus on that birthmark? You can help, Ann, by printing this letter. - Forever Rebuilding in Michigan

Dear Michigan: You cannot change human nature. People are going to ask about your child’s birthmark because it’s what they see first.

Instead of trying to change people, please take steps at once to get rid of that albatross around your child’s neck. I spoke with Dr. Jerome Garden, an expert on laser therapy at Northwestern University and Children’s Memorial Hospital. He said there is an excellent chance that laser therapy will lighten the port-wine stain. In some patients, the stain can be completely eliminated. Color, thickness and location of the birthmark determine how successful the treatment is. Younger patients tend to do better.

Removing a port-wine stain on the cheek usually takes at least four to six treatments and can run from $600 to $1,000 per treatment depending on the size of the birthmark. Insurance may cover the cost, but if not, it’s well worth the money when one considers what a difference it will make in your child’s life.