Start Early With Sex Education

Parents are the first and most important teachers of sex education to their children.

If this idea fills parents with dread, here is an even more dreadful thought: If children don’t learn about sex from their parents, they will learn about it from friends, magazines, television and other sources.

Parents may feel uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex for several reasons. Some are embarrassed since it was not a subject frequently discussed in their own upbringing. Others lack confidence that they can effectively answer their child’s questions. Some parents fear that talking about sexuality will encourage sexual activity in their kids.

To help parents feel more comfortable discussing sex, the American Social Health Association (ASHA) offers a free booklet, “Becoming an Askable Parent: How to Talk with Your Child About Sexuality.”

“Sexuality education is not just about sex,” the booklet states. “It includes sex, but also the roles, behaviors, and values people associate with being a man or a woman.”

Children begin learning about sexuality as infants and continue their education by watching their parents interact, show affection, dress, walk and talk.

As kids get older, parents are effective teachers of sexuality if they can discover their child’s need for information and find ways to fill that need, the booklet explains.

For example, if you see your child touching his or her genitals, you have an opportunity to teach your child about sexuality. Finding these teachable moments is a comfortable way to convey sexuality information.

Are you an askable parent? A child is more likely to talk to an approachable parent, says ASHA, if a parent demonstrates these traits:

Shows respect, value and love for the child.

Realizes every difficult situation is not a crisis.

Wants communication, but doesn’t expect to have all the answers.

Knows listening is the most important part of communication.

Doesn’t laugh when a child asks a question.

Doesn’t expect to be perfect as a parent.

Is sometimes embarrassed by sexuality but acknowledges the discomfort and moves forward with an explanation to the child.

The 20-page guide is concise, informative and helpful. It encourages parents to equip their children with a solid foundation of sexuality by giving them a clear set of values, accurate information, a strong sense of self-worth, and good decision-making skills.

“We do not believe that talking about sex encourages sex,” the writers state. “In fact, studies show that informed teenagers are less likely to have sex.”

The booklet helps parents prepare for the various stages of sexual development in a youngster. It lists questions kids may ask about sex and provides possible answers. It teaches parents ways to improve communication with their children, leading to healthy discussions of sexuality.

“If, by age 6, your child isn’t asking questions, it’s up to you to find moments to begin talking about sexuality issues,” the booklet suggests.

“The earlier you begin communicating with your child, the easier it will be.”

To order the booklet “Becoming an Askable Parent,” send $2 (for postage and handling) payable to: American Social Health Association, Dept. PR66, P.O. Box 13827, Research Triangle Park, NC 27709.

, DataTimes MEMO: The Family Track is a weekly column of notes and information for families. Send items to Lynn Gibson, Features Department, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615, or fax (509) 459-5098.