The Quinlans Will See This

Dear Ann Landers: I would like to write a letter to the parents of Karen Ann Quinlan. She was the young girl who mixed alcohol and barbiturates and was in a coma for about seven years before she died. Her parents fought a well-publicized court battle to get her off life support. I know a lot of years have passed, but Karen has been on my mind. I hope a family member or friend will see this letter and pass it along to the Quinlan family.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Quinlan: I remember when your daughter went into a coma in 1975 as a result of mixing alcohol and barbiturates. I didn’t know Karen, but she has had a real impact on my life.

I grew up in the ‘60s and ‘70s, when drugs were very easy to obtain. I abused alcohol later in life, but I never used any drugs because of Karen’s experience. I am now 44, and I couldn’t begin to tell you the times I have mentioned your daughter’s name over the years. My two grown children have known about Karen for as long as they can remember.

I realize that nothing can ease the pain of losing your daughter. I hope, however, it will bring you some comfort to know that others did notice and they learned a very valuable lesson from her tragic death. I sincerely believe the story of Karen touched and saved more lives than anyone will ever know. - Penny Stewart in Waco, Texas

Dear Penny: I believe you are right about Karen’s story saving lives.

Rest assured that Karen Ann Quinlan’s parents will see your letter. I know my readers, and they will see to it.

I, along with millions of others, was heartsick that the Quinlans had to wage such a horrendous battle to get their daughter out of the hospital. For months, it was known that there was zero chance that Karen would recover, yet the hospital authorities refused to disconnect the life support and allow her to be brought home to spend her final days.

Dear Ann Landers: That letter in your column about the “cussing cup” reminded me of the “shut-up jar” we had when our children were young. This demeaning command was not allowed in our home, but our children somehow fell into the habit of yelling “SHUT UP” at one another whenever they got into a heated argument. Finally, we decided something had to be done.

We set a large jar on the breakfast table, and every time the kids said “shut up,” in went part of their allowance money. The first offense was a nickel, the second a dime, and so on. There were days when we put in as much as a dollar. Of course, we heard a lot of complaining, but it was amazing how that system eventually eliminated the detested phrase.

The following summer, we took a train trip on the money from the “shut-up jar.” The kids enjoyed telling people we met along the way how we managed to afford the trip. We were surprised that they were rather proud of the way they were disciplined. Both our children are parents now, and they enjoy telling the story of the “shut-up jar,” and of course, we enjoy hearing it. - It Worked in Yuba City, Calif.

Dear Yuba: It worked in Yuba City, and it can work anyplace. I recommend it.

xxxx