It’s Not Where You Finish, It’s How You Finish

Recently my son finished 50th at the Spokane All-City Cross Country Meet.

He was thrilled.

His mom and dad were thrilled.

We celebrated 50th place with hearty congratulations at the dinner table.

Still, no one is thinking college scholarship to the University of Oregon for distance running.

There can be no secret about the fact that 50th place is exactly 49 kids away from first.

My son’s friend and classmate Garrett Mandeville finished in the mid-30s for their age group.

Matt Oye, a really fast kid from Garfield School, was second among the fifth-grade boys.

Katie Johnson, a sixth-grader from Hutton Elementary has won her all-city age group for six years in a row. She got her picture in the paper.

So, finishing 50th and being happy about it required some thought and explanation. Honestly, the life lessons related to finishing 50th can come none too soon.

Most of adulthood, it turns out, revolves around 50th place finishes.

The moments of going for the gold and actually grabbing the medal are few.

Thankfully, so are the boos and hisses of being a total failure.

More often, we all live in that gray zone where people say, “Good try.” It’s not easy to explain winning and losing in the same breath. Yet often, that’s what we face in our lives.

To help understand what lessons can be learned from making all-city and finishing 50th, I went to an expert.

Kathy Blatt, elementary cross country coach and school librarian, has held the hands of hundreds who have tried yet not wholly succeeded to be the stars of running around the schoolyard.

“What I tell them is that they hung in there,” Blatt explained. “They came to all the practices, they finished every race, and that’s quite an accomplishment by itself.”

A pearl of wisdom here, possibly a cultured pearl, but a pearl worthy of being strung for use later in life.

Simply showing up for life’s daily run gives us the best chance of winning, or doing well.

A whole lot of people never manage to show up.

They are too scared, too lazy, too hung up on the odds they will fail.

They freeze. They don’t struggle to take a step. And this isn’t just about kids running round the schools.

Blatt continued. “I also try not to stress the winning,” she said. “Throughout life there are going to be a few times when you number one and lots of times when you are not. So, we try to have some fun, try to get into good condition.”

Another pearl suitable for later life. It isn’t the winning, but the game, the practice, the striving to succeed that finally matters.

Following your passion is more important than getting a law degree, unless law is that passion. If the road to success is only a grind, an ulcer and a chore, the victory lap will be bitter and empty.”There really is nothing worse than a bad winner,” Blatt observed.

Before the all-city qualifying runs, however, Blatt must tell her young and aspiring athletes that they do have to run fast.

The kids get three chances to finish in the top seven in competition with kids from half a dozen other schools.

Those that make it go on. Those that finish eighth or below, do not.

At that point, if a kid’s peer group says, this is dumb, many kids drop out.

If parents say, it’s too cold, kids will bail.

But if kids say, let’s do it, and parents and teachers chime in, the race will be run.

Running a mile isn’t really all that much fun as a kid.

Nor is taking the night shift, or working weekends and holidays.

But most people who eventually make a success of themselves run the races time and again, even when the whether isn’t perfect, the kids ahead of you are faster, and a snack is waiting at home in front of the TV.

It’s the same race that begins with doing your math homework in seventh grade and going to college thanks to a good score on the SATs.

My son finished 50th on the night the St. Louis Cardinals were blown out in the last game of the National League Championship Series.

He finished 50th on the night Bob Dole probably saw his presidential aspirations fade in the last presidential debate.

The point is that even at the highest level of achievement and success, there will be some wins and some losses.

But my kid was happy.

He felt he had taken a step.

He had his moment to compete with every fast kid in the city.

The night after the all-city run, his pride showed through in his homework and at the piano.

He zipped through a recitation of the 50 states.

He played 50 right notes on the piano.

All because he had a chance to compete, to strive to meet a personal goal, to take a turn at being part of something.

“Good try,” I said, and I hoped he one day will truly understand what I meant.

, DataTimes MEMO: Chris Peck is the Editor of The Spokesman-Review. His column appears each Sunday on Perspective.