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Dating Not Nearly As Fun As It Appears

Cheryl Lavin Chicago Tribune

This is what twentysomething looks like when you’re past 30: completely carefree. Nothing to worry about but yourself.

Nothing to spend money on but yourself. Weekends are for in-line skating, beach volleyball and Jell-O-shooters with your buddies. Nights are for hot sex with girls who look like Jenny McCarthy (Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, whoever). Everything is new. Everything is exciting. Everyone is toned, tanned and too sexy for their bikinis.

This is what twentysomething looks like when you’re actually there.

Jeremy - “What really bothers me about dating is the complete lack of decency. I know it’s not easy to tell someone you’re not interested in them, but I would much prefer to hear that than to be jerked around. I called one woman after we had gone out a couple of times. She said she was in the middle of another call and asked me to call back in 20 minutes. I called back and there was no answer, so I left a message. She never called back. I had another woman tell me on our first date that she was going to be busy for the next couple of weeks but wanted us to keep in touch. I called a few times, but I never heard from her again.”

Ethan -“I think twentysomething women are totally screwed up, and I blame Cosmopolitan magazine and all the other junk they read for it. They’re being pulled in eight different directions at the same time. They’re supposed to find rich husbands while they pursue exciting careers. They’re supposed to spend hours fixing themselves up, do charity work, work out, have friends, take night courses, and watch CNN so they can discuss world affairs. They are so stressed out, they’ve lost any ability they might have had to just have fun. They take themselves so seriously, and everything is a chore, something to be ticked off in that Filofax they all carry. Although I’m only 26, I prefer dating women in their mid-30s. I find their “been there, done that attitude” refreshing and much less stressful. They’ve got their stuff together.”

Christopher - “The women I meet have absolutely no loyalty, which I consider the basis of any relationship. I dated one woman for six months. I thought we were pretty serious about one another, i.e., we were a couple. Then I found out she had told her girlfriends everything about our relationship, from little squabbles and disappointments over her Christmas and Valentine’s Day gifts to our lovemaking. I was appalled. I know guys are the ones who are supposed to talk, but I would never tell my buddies stuff like that. I haven’t since high school. I don’t believe a woman like that can ever really bond with a man in a committed relationship.”

Terence - “I’ve dated many women who, and I am not exaggerating, could not boil an egg. Not that they have an egg in their refrigerator to boil. Or anything else for that matter, other than diet soda and Lean Cuisines. I’m not saying I will only marry a gourmet cook, but I sure would never marry a woman who isn’t capable of putting a meal on the table.”

Jason - “Twentysomething women use movies and TV to gauge their relationships. They have the “when I meet him, I’ll know it immediately” attitude. They have their list of what they want, and anyone who doesn’t meet their criteria is written off as not quite good enough. As a regular guy, I find that trying to live up to their standards is impossible.

“Do they really expect to find a down-to-earth guy who looks like a model and has the capacity to see inner beauty? I consider myself a regular guy. I’m in average shape, with average looks, an average steady professional job, not really a smooth operator or frat-boy yuppie. I am constantly amazed that the women I meet have a hard time settling for an average existence. They always think there must be something better.”

Next week, twentysomething women vent.

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