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Even In Her War Room, She’d Do Her Yoga Bare

Compiled By Staff Writer Dan Web

Here are two words too frightful to contemplate: President Maples.

But let’s do it anyway. The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Donald Trump, perennial starlet Marla Maples, was asked by George magazine what should would do if (the world as we know it ended and) she were elected president.

She would choose Michael Jordan as her vice president. For her closest adviser, she would opt for God. Secretary of Defense? Her publicist.

What bill would she always veto? “My American Express bill.” What would drive her to war? Tabloid journalism.

Finally, she would create a new department, the Department of Peace Promotion that would offer “federally subsidized massages and yoga for everyone.”

Loose talk

Michael Palin on his vow to do no more Public Television travelogues such as “Pole to Pole”: “I’m now 54 years old, and I’m going to sit in my rocking chair and think about journeys, rather than make them.”

His party is bound to be a big scream

Wes Craven turns 58 today.

The third is they watch ‘Beavis and Butt-Head’

So what are the secret rituals of the United States Supreme Court? “One,” Clarence Thomas said on C-SPAN, “we engaged in a handshake before every conference and before we go on the bench. The second custom is we have lunch.”

Which one is Thomas? Which one is Scalia?

“Beavis and Butt-Head,” the idiotic animated duo from MTV, have outlived their celebrity status. The music-video cable network and series creator Mike Judge have agreed to stop production after 220 episodes. You’ll probably never notice, though. “Beavis and Butt-Head” likely will live on in reruns ad nauseum.

The feeling is entirely mutual, we’re sure

For some reason, a reporter for the New York Observer asked ex-supermodel Christie Brinkley what she thought of Sen. Jesse Helms, the ultra-conservative senator from North Carolina. “Uh-echhh,” Brinkley said (we’re guessing here). “I think that’s one of the scariest words in the English language. I think he represents what’s wrong and evil.”

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors

In her newspaper column on Thursday, First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton criticized Julia Roberts for smoking in “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” She also scolded Will Smith for firing up a cigar in “Independence Day.” She said nothing about President Clinton puffing on a cigar while relaxing on the White House putting green.

Problem was, he was too busy horsing around

Here’s something you could see coming a movie sequel away: Neve Campbell (“Party of Five,” “Scream”) has split from actor husband Jeff Colt after 2 years.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster

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