This isn’t Mayberry and these aren’t innocent times.
But no summer is complete without at least one long, passionate conversation about the relative merits of various soft drinks.
Brainless Parents Department: Phyllis Rollins saw two boys harassing a goose at Riverfront Park. Their dim-bulb parents just watched as they chased the bird. “Too bad the goose was so tolerant,” said Rollins.
Yeah. Sounds like everyone in that family could use a nip.
Of course, in defending itself during encounters with morons, it’s always the animal that gets blamed.
West of Coeur d’Aleneshire:
An Ohio business sent E.J. Hjortedal a piece of mail addressed to “Spokeham, WA.”
Every once in awhile you encounter one of the people who make city life tolerable:
Nick Howard was driving on Country Homes Boulevard when a woman pulled up beside him and tried to tell him something. Her message seemed to pertain to the back of his truck.
“I pulled over to see what it was,” wrote Howard. “It turned out that my mom had left gardening gloves and a small gardening shovel on the bumper of my truck.”
No big deal. Still, it made him feel good. “In a world where it is often every-man-for-himself, it’s nice to know that there are people like that woman out there.”
We’ll save you some time: Certain men’s magazines love to tout stories about the secrets of success in both personal life and business. Invariably, these “secrets” are essentially rehashings of seven basic truths.
1. Women want you to listen AND talk.
2. Bosses want you to solve your own problems.
3. Looks matter.
4. If you are a jerk, you need to be able to conceal that fact.
5. All managers value people who make them look good.
6. It’s an excellent idea to be young, stylish, smart and funny.
7. Life’s not fair.
Another sleeping bag discovery: Pullman’s Rich Wesson was on a 17-day raft trip through the Grand Canyon when a scorpion stung him twice on the backside.
Wesson survived. The scorpion didn’t.
Spokane euphemism for ending a life: “Tranquilized and taken to Stevens County.”
Today’s Slice question: In one word, what statement does your weekend wardrobe make?
, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color Photo
MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Bedford Falls, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. OK, just seeing if you were paying attention. It’s still Spokane, WA.
Local journalism is essential.
Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are not tax deductible, but are predominately used to help meet the local financial requirements needed to receive national matching-grant funds.
Subscribe to the Coronavirus newsletter
Get the day’s latest Coronavirus news delivered to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletter.