Others May Ask To Use Your Talents

Dear Ann Landers: I am married to an extremely good-hearted man who is a certified mechanic. He can fix or build absolutely anything. He’s an expert at carpentry, welding, motors, plumbing and electronics - you name it, he can repair it.

The trouble is that family, friends and acquaintances take advantage of him. The minute he gets home from work, the phone starts ringing. Weekends are worse. I don’t mind emergency calls, but I do resent it when people lean on him to do routine maintenance stuff. They call us. They beg. They plead. They come over and pound on the door, interrupting our dinner, favorite TV program or lovemaking.

Moving away is out. We love our home and it’s nearly paid for. Maybe if just one person sees him or herself in this letter and backs off, some good will come of it. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t read your column. - Shreveport, La.

Dear Shreveport: I have a feeling that your husband may not be nearly as resentful as you are. In fact, he may even enjoy lending a helpful hand. It could give him a feeling of satisfaction and a sense of pride knowing that he is needed and that his skills are recognized.

People who have a special talent or area of expertise are always leaned on by family, friends and acquaintances. If it’s any comfort to you, you’re not alone. Read on:

Dear Ann Landers: I am a paralegal. Guess how many calls I get for free advice. Everyone says, “I just want to ask a simple legal question.” Just because I work for an attorney, they think I’m supposed to know the law. Well, sometimes, I don’t know what I’m talking about, and I might give the wrong information.

Here’s what I do know about the law. Practicing law without a license carries stiff penalties. It’s a crime for non-lawyers to give legal advice.

Please, folks, call an attorney if you need legal help. Many lawyers will be happy to give you a free consultation on your first visit. - No Legal Eagle in N.Y.

Dear Ann Landers: You pride yourself on printing both sides of the story. Well, how about printing this one? Sorry it’s too late for Mother’s Day.

My mother gave me to my paternal grandparents to raise after she found my sister and me eating ant poison. I was 4 years old and my sister was 2. When we became violently ill, she did not seek help for us. When my sister died the next day, Mom blamed me for the tragedy because I was older and “should have known better.”

Eventually, I moved back home, but I was abused by my mother both physically and emotionally. As a child, I feared her. As an adolescent, I hated her. Where was our father when all this was going on? Drinking, mostly. He always had money for alcohol, but there was never enough money for food, clothes or shoes for us kids.

Mom died at 89, and I don’t know where she went. I’m sure it wasn’t heaven, and she was so cruel and vicious, even the devil wouldn’t have her. I survived my miserable childhood and achieved a modicum of success, but I still find it difficult, at age 72, to observe the commandment to honor my parents. Sign me - Permanently Damaged in Marble Falls, Texas

Dear Marble Falls: How sad that you’ve lived 72 years with so much hate and bitterness in your heart. This must have had a negative, souring effect on all your relationships.

You don’t say anything about your own family - a spouse and children. I’m hoping that the last part of your life has been better than the first. Please write again and let me know.