True Feelings Revealed In Dreams

Dear Nancy: I have been having this dream for three or four years, sometimes several times a week. My boyfriend lives with me in my house and is kind to me, unlike my former husband, who was extremely abusive. I also have two grown sons. Gayla

I am holding a blond male child about 9 months old. He was just “dropped” on me and I’m unprepared to take care of him. I feel terrible because I’m supposed to be the guardian, but I have no bottles, diapers or any other baby supplies. I wake up feeling anxious, frantic and incompetent.

Dear Gayla: During our telephone conversation, I asked if you feel, in some way, a child has been dropped in your lap and you cried, “Yes, my boyfriend! And he’s blond!” You offered him a room in your home because he was leaving his girlfriend. This was to be a temporary arrangement, but your feelings for one another grew, and you’re still together.

Your dream illustrates what you already know at a deep level. Our feelings about our life situations are brought to our consciousness through dreams, and they tend to occur over and over when we don’t get the message.

Is your boyfriend immature and unwilling to take care of himself, or do you “mother” him unnecessarily? Perhaps he has overstayed his welcome.

You may want to reevaluate your relationship with him and decide what you want and need for your future. Keep watching your dreams for other insights and information on this relationship issue.

Tips for readers: When we work with a dream, we look for the insight that causes the dreamer to have an eye-opening “a-ha” experience - a deep recognition of his situation as depicted in the dream.

For example, while working with the dream above, several questions were asked in order to draw out the dream’s message. The symbol of the child was explored as a part of the dreamer’s own psyche. Was it her own inner child that needed nurturing and care?

Babies in dreams can signify new growth. Was there a new development in the dreamer’s life that made her feel inadequate? This could be anything new: a job, hobby, creative endeavor or relationship. But, because Gayla had been dreaming this dream for several years, that possibility was somewhat negated.

Also, it may have been about the dreamer’s feelings of being an inadequate parent to her children. Gayla did have some recognition of those feelings.

The moment of truth came when we approached the question of a child being “dropped” on her. Through this came her “a-ha” experience. She experienced a profound realization that the dream’s meaning was undeniably true.

It’s important to remember only the dreamer truly knows a dream’s meaning. Many books have been written on dream symbols and interpretations that might help you work through your dreams, but the answers, and the “a-ha” experience, lie within the dreamer. There is no dream manual or dictionary that can match the feeling of this awakening to the truth.

This column is intended as entertainment. But psychologists who work with clients’ dreams say that dreams can hold a tremendous amount of significance; a particularly disturbing or repetitive dream may indicate the need to see a therapist.

, DataTimes MEMO: Nancy Huseby Bloom has studied dreams for 18 years. Dreams may be sent to her c/o The Spokesman-Review, P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210-1615, or fax, (509) 459-5098. Please send a short summary of the circumstances in your life and include your name, address and phone number. Nancy conducts dream groups on a regular basis. For information, call 455-3450.

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