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Tuesday, January 21, 2020  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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The Slice Rule 1: Dogs Must Be Leashed. Rule 2: Humans Must Stay Home

Joyce and Gary Paris were walking in their South Hill neighborhood when a small dog streaked toward them, snarling and barking.

The couple adopted defensive postures and concerned expressions.

A woman in a nearby yard, seemingly annoyed by the senior citizens’ alarmed reaction, said, “Oh, he won’t bite you.”

Joyce Paris then said that if the dog were on a leash, there wouldn’t be a problem in the first place.

After a pause, the woman replied, “Well, if you were at home, where you belong, this couldn’t have happened, could it?”

Slice answer (part 1): “Who makes the best doughnuts? I do.” - Mary McDonnell, Chewelah

Old growth: Can anything in your yard top this? Spokane’s R. K. Barcus has a pine tree that measures 106 inches in circumference at three feet above the ground.

Adhering to the fire code is important: But there’s something unappetizing about “Maximum Load” signs in restaurants.

Happy days: According to a survey conducted by Medical Laboratory Observer magazine, people working in medical labs in the West tend to enjoy slightly higher career satisfaction than their counterparts in the South, East and Midwest.

Of course, that could just mean that lab employees in other parts of the country are REALLY depressed.

Statement Lisa Muncey’s weekend wardrobe makes: “Too tight.”

George, George: Here’s an unofficial Slice survey.

This week, 33 percent of 4-year-olds riding in shopping carts could be heard vocalizing songs or sound effects from “George of the Jungle.”

Cheers: A friend showed up for a dental appointment and was presented with a bottle of wine. It was to thank him for being a patient.

It just seems like every week is: Sunday is the start of National Street Rod Week in Spokane.

Warm-up questions: Assuming a proposal in Congress to issue 50 new styles of quarters - one commemorating each state - evolves into a real plan, what should be on the Washington coin? Something other than Mount Rainier perhaps?

How about Idaho? Will that state’s coin debate become a potato war?

Today’s Slice question: If somebody decided to name an amusement park ride after your life, what would the ride be called?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing of a snarling dog

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Seeing “Ulee’s Gold” makes you want honey.

The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Seeing “Ulee’s Gold” makes you want honey.

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