Probing New Season Necessarily Starts At Bottom

Somewhere between Peyton Manning and Randy Moss is the heart of this newborn college football season.

Or perhaps we’re looking too far south, anatomically speaking.

And, hey, it’s early yet, though not as early as August used to be.

We have finally put to bed the last of the preseason “classics,” which by next season will outnumber the postseason “bowls” - which already outnumber regular-season “games.”

“Playoff,” of course, remains a dirty word.

So until the season kicks off in earnest Saturday - UCLA at Washington State is the precinct nearest you - and produces something in the way of a highlight, we must pan for nuggets where we may.

Tennessee’s training room, for instance.

That was the scene of the crime last year when Manning, the otherwise All-American quarterback, struck his own Heisman pose - baring his backside to a teammate, though not noticing a female trainer within eyeshot. Lo, the innocent young woman’s psyche has never been the same, and just this month the school agreed to pay her a $300,000 settlement.

Whoa, Nellie.

Doesn’t this fall under the NCAA’s notion of an extra benefit? Shouldn’t this one be on Manning’s tab? Or will UT similarly come to the rescue of any likkered-up undergrad who decides to drop trou at, say, the homecoming cotillion?

By the way, for those of you scoring at home, Manning and Ron Powlus are still tied for number of Heismans won.

Now then. You can make an ass of yourself literally or figuratively, and in college football’s gallery Moss has rapidly become the Mapplethorpe of the latter school.

Marshall’s unrepentant thug receiver - run out of Notre Dame and Florida State before he could run a play - recently demonstrated how thankful he is for his last chance by venting on the 1970 crash of the Marshall football charter flight that killed 75 people and still haunts the campus and community.

“I’ve seen the burial ground,” Moss told Sports Illustrated. “I went up there and looked at the names. It was a tragedy, but it really wasn’t nothing big.”

Is he a Dallas Cowboy waiting to happen or what?

Seems awfully dull around here by comparison, especially with James Darling and his best pal no longer terrorizing frat boys. We did read in another newspaper a where-are-they-now about former WSU quarterback Chad Davis in which his older brother, Richard, is quoted as saying, “I admire my brother for exiting Washington State without making a (jerk) out of himself.”

Think he had that covered before his exit, Rich.

Perhaps the Pac-10 is just more of a thinking man’s league - which got us to thinking, man:

If Arizona linebacker Chester Burnett changed his name to Howlin’ Wolf - as another famous Chester Burnett did before him - could he be the first player ever to win a Butkus Award and a Grammy in the same year?

If you don’t think WSU is hurting in the resource race, consider that Oregon is building an indoor football practice facility. The Cougars, meanwhile, just got their own outdoor practice facility.

Then again, some of us thought the Ducks already had an indoor practice facility: Mac Court.

Even if you hate the Huskies, you have reason to root Washington on to a national championship, if only for the ramifications it will have on John Robinson continuing to be on direct deposit at USC.

If there’s a reason to think it’s WSU’s year - and at this point of the season, the last thing Cougar fans need is a reason - it’s that five different Pac-10 schools have reached the Rose Bowl in the past five years. Of course, that’s probably what they’re thinking in Tucson, Berkeley, Palo Alto and Corvallis, too.

Corvallis … sorry … got carried away.

Speaking of Corvallis, it’s bad enough the Beavers have put their faithful through 27 consecutive losing seasons, but for new coach Mike Riley to make them sit through seven home games this year borders on the cruel and unusual.

New coach at Cal this year, too. For the Bears’ sake, let’s hope the players aren’t Holmoephobic.

You can contact John Blanchette by voice mail at 459-5577, extension 5509.

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