No Time To Age Bernadine Van Thiel Believes Stereotypes About Aging Can Hurt Our Culture

“Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be: the last of life for which the first was made.” Robert Browning

Everywhere around us people are doing wonderful and exciting things in their elder years.

Victor Borge, at age 90, will delight Spokane audiences at the Opera House on Jan. 30.

A popular singer in the 1940s, Tony Bennett, is now “red hot and cool” on MTV. At 71, he is the idol of thousands of 1990s youth and a fine artist whose paintings hang in galleries worldwide.

Former President Jimmy Carter, at age 73, helps resolve conflicts in governments and warring tribes worldwide, monitors elections to strengthen democracy and human rights and is intensely involved in Habitat for Humanity.

And in the Inland Northwest, we have:

Sister Madonna Buder, a triathlete at age 67, recently returned from participating in the Hawaiian Ironman for the 12th time.

Katherine Gellhorn, beloved patron of Spokane arts known for her distinctive hats and invincible spirit, was a great symbol of a long life, well-lived.

Retired biology teacher Tom Rogers founded the Dishman Hills Natural Area Association in 1966, and at age 84 continues to lead nature hikes and work toward the enhancement and expansion of this unique wilderness. He’s currently writing a book on the ecology of the Inland Northwest.

Retired after a 37-year career as a veterinarian, Jerry Mueller and his wife, Marilynne, are personally building a prototype home in the foothills of Mica Peak that will incorporate innovative construction concepts. They plan to use it as an education center in living lightly on Earth.

What words most readily come to mind when you say “seniors” or “aging?” Alive, active and vibrant? Or Alzheimer’s, arthritis, senility, Medicare, and diminished physical and mental powers?

Unfortunately, for most people the negative words come to mind first, but I believe these images can change through awareness, education and exposure to vibrant older people.

Where do the negative images come from? The media are the most visible sources. Newspapers run feature stories on nursing homes and retirement homes. We see great coverage of Medicare and euthanasia. A picture of an older, balding man in a recent advertisement asked “DO YOU SUFFER FROM HEARTBURN?”

Television commercials show older ladies knitting in rocking chairs with granny glasses and dreary hairdos. Seniors are shown in commercials for arthritis, hemorrhoid medications and false-teeth cleaners.

This absence of positive recognition of seniors extends beyond the media. Over-the-hill parties with black balloons and decorations are common at age 50. Meant in jest, the message that “life is ended and it’s downhill into oblivion from now on” remains in the belief system.

While older people made up the majority presence at the last Catholic Diocese of Spokane Convocation, no mention in the proceedings acknowledged elders’ gifts or talents or even their presence, except in reference to those who are poor, needy and subjects for ministry.

And some medical doctors stereotype the aged as worthless by diminishing the quality and attention of their care.

Is it any wonder that we live in an age-denying culture in which entire industries are built around attempts to look young forever through face-lifts, wrinkle cream and hair color? Any wonder suicide is considered a way to escape aging?

Admittedly there are numerous foolish older people who are rigid and inflexible in their opinions. There are others who haven’t chosen wise lifestyles, thus allowing their bodies and spirits to be diminished. But the constant focus on these older people negate the rest who are vital and vibrant in their advancing years. It devalues people who continue to learn and grow and use their wisdom and their many gifts for the good of the community.

Other cultures do not hold this distorted view of reality. The Native Americans look to their Wisdom Keepers with reverence, honor, respect and deference. When my husband and I attended an Indian powwow in Eklutna, Alaska, and were standing in the buffet line, our gray heads were noticed. We were invited to sit with the elders and were served dinner by the teens, even though we were non-Indians. It was both humbling and edifying to be treated with such respect and consideration.

The “Living Treasures of Japan” program honors those persons who in their latter years inspire others and contribute to society.

When the viewpoints and contributions of the aged are discounted, a society denies itself the wisdom necessary to maintain a healthy community.

This prevalent stereotype seems to be cracking. In an “Ask Marilyn” column in a recent Parade magazine this question appeared: “Is it true that we in America show less respect for the elderly than any other civilized nation in the world?”

Marilyn responded that the elderly are stereotyped by the minority who are fuddy-duddies. She said we’re overlooking one of this country’s greatest natural resources - the wisdom of the aging.

In a May 1997 forum sponsored by the Health Improvement Partnership, Dr. Leland Kaiser, a respected futurist, encouraged the formation of a Saging Center in Spokane to capture the wisdom so needed in present society.

Spokane counselor and minister, Dr. David Crum, developed the Wise Elder Project, which recognizes the latter years as a time for “a new kind of aging.” The project challenges churches to create new positions for older people as mentors and counselors.

Science magazine recently reported that the percentage of people in nursing homes or with chronic diseases is dropping. In her book “The Fountain of Age” Betty Friedan claims that by struggling to hold on to the illusions of youth, we deny ourselves the reality and triumphs of growing older. Even Elizabeth Taylor now appears with white hair!

Recent research suggests that the neurons in the brain continue to connect and grow indefinitely. Mental powers kept exercised become stronger and sharper as people age, resulting in ever more acute powers of reasoning and creativity. Many of us have learned through the years to work through pain, forgive injuries, and then move on joyfully through life.

Moses died at the age of 120, “his eyes undimmed and his vigor unabated.” People, no matter the date on their birth certificates, who continue to grow through time, who keep their questing minds elastic and vigorous and their bodies healthy and flexible, are forever young.

Perhaps this is the beginning of a time when elders will again be accorded honor and respect and looked upon as living treasures and special sources of discernment and wisdom.

Perhaps the time will come when aging is recognized for what it is: the full-flowering of the human personality and ultimate fruition of a life well-lived.

MEMO: Spokane resident Bernadine Van Thiel, 73, calls herself a “full-time human being” who is active in “creating the future.” Her favorite bumper sticker proclaims: “Youth is a Feeling, Not an Age!”