Funny, He Wasn’t Even Driving A Muscle Car

Guess “Timecop” got timed by a cop.

Florida police pulled over action star Jean-Claude Van Damme over the weekend for going 43 mph in a 35 mph zone in his 1997 Chevy pickup truck.

“He was very nice and very polite,” Sgt. Larry Roberts said of Van Damme, who was in the area to attend an auto race at Daytona. “He was a little rattled when I pulled him over.”

As is typical with low-level speeders, “The Muscles from Brussels” was let off with a warning. “Basically, I told him it would cost him an autographed picture,” Roberts said.

But not everyone agreed with the decision. “He didn’t send him down to the Police Department,” complained dispatcher Jeaneen Clauss-Peitz. “I was very disappointed.”

Loose talk

Jackie Collins, offering advice to Princess Diana (in InStyle magazine): “She had a husband who went off with another woman, she had a lover who wrote (a book) about her. I think she should try women.”

Cops keep telling his wife, ‘Houston, we have a problem’

Bobby Brown turns 28 today.

Old flames who talk too much, on the next Oprah

A Columbus man named Randolph Cook, who claims he shacked up with Oprah Winfrey and took drugs with her in 1985, is suing the talk host for $40 million for allegedly using her clout to scuttle his plans to publish a tellall book. Winfrey, who has admitted using cocaine with a former boyfriend, contends Cook demanded $2 million to keep quiet.

They were just sitting around collecting angel dust

Winfrey, meanwhile, has donated her collection of 571 black angel figurines to the Angel Museum in Beloit, Wis. Winfrey was flooded with donations from viewers after telling Cher during a show that black angels were hard to find.

Which is how Queen Elizabeth must be feeling

Two years ago on British television, Princess Diana admitted to having an affair. And in a BBC documentary airing next week about her recent Red Cross-sponsored trip to Angola, Di “describes in her own words meeting some of the victims of land mine explosions.”

In a pinch, maybe they can borrow Roger Clinton

With Di and the Duchess of York (aka Sarah Ferguson) having departed from the active roster, Buckingham Palace is looking for lesser members of the royal family to handle such ceremonial chores as ribbon-cuttings and hand-shaking. Said a spokeswoman: “There are a lot of members of the royal family, so we will look across the board.”

Guess you could call her part of a vocal minority

A scene you won’t see in tonight’s episode of “Ellen”: During the taping of an all-star rock ‘n’ roll jam with David Crosby, Bonnie Raitt and Aaron Neville, Ellen Degeneres at one point sang, “So here’s what I have to say/ And by the way, I’m gay/ It’s OK/I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Rick Bonino