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Housekeeping Tip No. 1: You Can Recycle Rubber

Compiled By Staff Writer Dan Web

We’ve already pointed out that domestic goddess Martha Stewart has a sense of humor. We’ve already outlined her reasons for taking her television spots from NBC to CBS.

But we haven’t told you about how upset she is about the National Lampoon parody “Rolling Your Own Condoms.”

“Utterly bad taste,” Stewart told Gail Shister. “They’re taking what I do, very serious ‘how-to’ about everyday living - well-researched, well-documented and beautifully presented - and minimizing its importance.”

She appreciates David Letterman. “I like him very much,” she said. “‘Saturday Night Live’ is fine, too. Things like that are meant to be funny. What bothers me are really badly done parodies. Those are copyright infringements.”

Loose talk

The Duchess of York, newly signed Weight Watchers spokeswoman, giving reporters an idea of what the large version of her derriere looks like when on the move: “It’s like live ferrets, live ferrets jumping around in a bag.”

His motto: Don’t ever let them get you Downs

Hugh Downs turns 76 today.

These rich folk have a real Jones for chocolate

Today is Valentine’s, and Marty Ingels wanted to make the occasion special for wife Shirley Jones. So instead of buying a mere box of chocolates, he bought her an entire chocolate store. “There are some people who like chocolate and there are some chocoholics,” Ingels said, while presenting Jones a 4-foot-long chocolate key to the Beverly Hills Edelweiss Chocolate store. “I live with a sociochocopath.”

When, of course, it’s typically the other way around

And what does Joan Rivers number among the reasons why radio talk shows are better than those on television. “You can say to someone, ‘You are wrong and stupid,’ and you can hang up on them,” says Rivers, who will begin a two-hour talk show on March 3.

Then again, only her hairdresser knows for sure

Things you need to know: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy pays $300 every three weeks at a New York hair salon to make sure her dark roots don’t blemish her blond locks.

That, of course, and eat like a Brit-royal

Elizabeth Taylor, whose many marriages included a stint as the helpmate of U.S. Senator John Warner (R-Va.), says the political life takes a certain kind of woman. “If you’re a politician’s wife and don’t have your own role,” she told Barbara Walters, “there’s nothing for you to do except be supportive.”

Turns out their braces were locked

Couple du jour: Movie stars Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman were apparently so into mutual lip massage at a talk Monday by actor/playwright Sam Shepard that even the laconic author joined the audience in snickering.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster

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