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Thursday, November 14, 2019  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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News >  Spokane

Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Many of his brain cells are already up there somewhere

The remains of Timothy Leary will be launched into outer space next month. Why didn’t someone think of this before he died?

Did WWP fail to intercede adequately?

At a hearing last week, most people said that Washington Water Power handled the ice storm as well as possible. Still, some people criticized the company for “failing to prevent God from causing the ice storm in the first place.”

That big blockbuster was their fault, too

They also accused WWP of failing to prevent several subsequent blizzards and that big volcano that destroyed the village of Dante’s Peak.

Even the most meticulously planned operation can go awry

Astronauts tried to spruce up the Hubble Space Telescope this week, but they had to cut their mission short when they ran out of quarters before the “wax” cycle.

State to provide alternate Bowl and Pitcher service

The state has closed the footbridge over the Spokane River at Bowl and Pitcher. To compensate, the state ferry “Cathlamet” begins service on Monday, departing every 90 seconds.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 3 Photos

MEMO: Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.

Bottom Lines is Jim Kershner’s look at issues in the news. The views are the writer’s.

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