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When Life Gets Brit-Slow, Just Trot Out The Princess

By Compiled Staff Writer Dan Web

This is the new Brit-royal dictum: Anything that Princess Diana does will be considered controversial by someone.

Consider the latest flap curling the stiff collars of London’s political types. Seems she and her sons, Princes William, 15, and Harry, 12, were photographed cavorting aboard the yacht of millionaire Mohamed Al Fayed.

In one photograph - gasp! - the princess even had her arm around Al Fayed, who just happens to own Harrods department store.

Conservative Party members despise Al Fayed, whom they consider the cause of their recent defeat because he revealed that he had a number of them on his payroll.

“Has she simply failed to realize it might cause difficulty, or is it intended to cause difficulty?” one David Wiltshite asked.

Loose talk

Rip Torn, dismissing his legendary fistfight with novelist Norman Mailer (in the Los Angeles Times): “Norman tried to bite me, but the damage was minimal compared to Tyson and Holyfield. I remember telling him, ‘Hey, dad, I need this ear to work with.”’

Pronunciation guide: Blades rhymes (kind of) with lattes

Ruben Blades turns 49 today.

Can you say media-motivated catfight?

While the stodgy press was questioning the mental capacity, and/or the political motivations of Britain’s Princess Diana (see item at left), the London Mirror kept its priorities straight. It wrote how much better the princess looked in her swimsuit than Camilla Parker Bowles did in hers when recently photographed.

It’s a woody road she travels to court the bloom of love

Mia Farrow is said to be keeping time with novelist Philip Roth. Farrow, who had a tempestuous breakup with longtime love Woody Allen, may be courting much the same in Roth, who was the subject of a critical memoir by his ex-wife, actress Claire Bloom.

So don’t staple, spindle or otherwise mutilate him

Larry King is not converting to Mormonism, nor is he quitting his CNN talk show. The tabloid Star made such charges, which King pronounces “Totally absurd.” “Attention, rabbis:” King wrote in his USA Today column, “I’m still in the fold.”

Elvis is appalled and wants his gold sunglasses back

When “Men in Black” director Barry Sonnenfeld asked for celebrities to pose as aliens in one of the film’s patented sight gags, he received quite a response. Among those who agreed: Dionne Warwick, Danny DeVito, Sly Stallone, Newt Gingrich and Isaac Mizrahi. Who said no? Michael Jackson. “Of course,” Sonnenfeld says, “the real aliens say no.”

Her first assignment? Interviewing Jerry Springer

Remember the Chicago newscaster who resigned rather than go on-air with sleaze-talk host Jerry Springer? Well, Carol Martin has resurfaced. The 48-year-old talking head will join Bryant Gumbel for his new television newsmagazine for CBS.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster

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