The Slice We’re The Gateway To The Pacific

Publicity materials promoting upcoming concerts at The Gorge routinely describe the venue as being in Seattle.

That’s absurd, of course. But this is 1997. When it comes to selling events and destinations, it sometimes seems that anything goes.

With that in mind, perhaps it’s time for local tourism promoters to stop feeling shackled by geographic reality. Maybe it’s time to crank out a glossy brochure called “Glacier National Park - Pride of Post Falls.”

Or how about a TV spot describing the San Juan Islands as “Nestled in Spokane’s Backyard.” Or, well, you get the idea.

It’s ogling season: And we think that explains why so many women might have noticed at least some men acting a little weird. You know, making eye contact in a way that is a little too intense to be believable.

If Spokane’s David M. Bennett opened a bar in his neighborhood: He’d call it “So Sue Me.”

Not everyone here is busy stealing bicycles: Lorell Mallard of Butte, Mont., was outside the Mervyn’s at NorthTown. She was getting her children into the family van. That’s when she put her purse down.

Mallard didn’t realize it was missing until she was halfway back to Butte. But the people who found the purse made sure it got back to her.

Query for those over 30 who grew up Catholic: As a child, what was the most ridiculous thing you ever told a priest during confession?

Three kinds of idiots: 1. People who think cats don’t have personalities.

2. People who think they can always spot a gay person.

3. People who assume they would behave heroically in combat.

Overheard at lunch: “Last time we did a market analysis the results were so discouraging we had no choice but to ignore the data.”

Message on a T-shirt worn by a young woman standing at Riverside and Post: “Stop, or you’ll go blind.”

Curb appeal: In Spokane, that sometimes means the broken toys in the yard haven’t rusted over.

Warm-up question: What member of your family has the best hands when it comes to catching a remote control tossed from across the room?

Today’s Slice question: Shouldn’t there be one day each summer set aside during which no cars can be driven on the streets of Spokane and Coeur d’Alene except restored vintage automobiles?

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Drawing

MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Send us a snapshot of your refrigerator door.