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Fight Incites A Round Of Biting Satire

Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Servi

Here is a sampling of opinions on Tyson-Holyfield II

BERNIE LINCICOME, Chicago Tribune:


The news arrives over fluid bacon and petrified toast, the traditional English breakfast. “Disgrace in Las Vegas,” says the voice on the telly, not a bulletin that would ordinarily cause a second glance.

But, wearied by rain and Kafelnikovs, I look up to see a 21-inch picture of Evander Holyfield’s right ear all various shades of sausage, resembling, in fact, something that is hiding under my grilled tomato.

A series of still photos follows: An enraged Mike Tyson being restrained by cops (a childhood flashback, no doubt); a sturdy, bald referee waving his arms; a full-chested Holyfield looking as if he has just stepped back out of the looking glass.

Oh, yes. Boxing.

I am admittedly fascinated by the tale, and slightly envious. Man bites dog is a journalist’s dream. Man bites boxer is nearly as good and it certainly beats Davenport bites dust.

In Tyson’s case, he has obviously bitten off more than he can chew. But, ever up for a challenge, Tyson has taken another bite out of Holyfield’s other ear, only to have referee Mills Lane disqualify him, thus becoming the first fighter to ever lose a heavyweight championship fight for gluttony.

“One bite is enough,” Lane is reported to have said, “two bites is dessert.”

Might this be, ahem, Tyson’s last supper?

The important question to ask is not if Tyson should be allowed to fight again, not if he should have his purse withheld, not whether boxing will survive, not if Holyfield will ever be able to keep a hat on his head. There is only one question.

What goes good with ear?

MARK PURDY, San Jose Mercury News:

LAS VEGAS - The Sound and the Fury? Try the incisor and the bicuspid. And a disgrace.

Mike Tyson couldn’t fight back, so he decided to bite back. Even in boxing, this is not legal. If there is any justice, Tyson should not only be docked his $30 million purse for Saturday night’s travesty, he should be barred from his sport for as long as Evander Holyfield’s children keep asking him why his right ear looks like a small pizza with a slice missing.

KEITH GAVE, Detroit Free Press:

A sport that always seems to be nursing a black eye now has to contend with a couple of bloody ears.

If he ever fights again - and there are those who suggest that he should never again be allowed into a ring - Mike Tyson’s next opponent should be Hannibal Lechter. Or maybe Jeffrey Dahmer.

A fight billed as the biggest money-making event in boxing history was reduced to a litany of bad one-liners, the sport already on the ropes now in a shambles, with the one guy who might be able to save it needing reconstructive plastic surgery to repair a very painful right ear.

Call him Evander Van Gogh.

The bite of the century.

If referee Mills Lane had not stopped the fight, they might be looking for Holyfield’s nose this morning. If boxing ever was a legitimate sport, how can it claim to be the same today?

KEVIN B. BLACKISTONE, The Dallas Morning News:

LAS VEGAS - If there was anything that could save boxing from itself and Mike Tyson on Saturday night, it was the dignity of a man who had every excuse not to retain any. Evander Holyfield, the devout Christian and still heavyweight champion, said he would harbor no anger over the ghoulish behavior of his opponent. He turned the other cheek.

Unfortunately, Tyson bit his other ear, too.

TOM SORENSEN, Charlotte Observer:

Mike Tyson turns 31 today. It is probably too much to ask that his birthday cake be shaped like an ear. But even if it isn’t, somebody is entitled to take a couple bites out of it before Tyson does.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Service

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