Kemp’s No Barkley, Which Bodes Well For Both Franchises

Falling somewhere between existentialism and the Rolling Stones is the corollary that you can’t be what you aren’t.

A practical example would be Charles Barkley, who can’t be quiet.

Bless him.

“Rowdy animals” he called the fans at KeyArena before Game 3 of the NBA’s Western Conference semifinals, whipping them into full froth by tipoff. Then, as they relentlessly baited and berated their second-favorite villain - count-to-10 Karl Malone is a narrow No. 1 - Barkley disarmed them with a wink, a laugh and the occasional vulgarism, like Crocodile Dundee taming recalcitrant oxen and vicious dogs with a stare, a point of a finger and a high-pitched whine.

“That’s Ebonics,” he teased in the wake of Houston’s dramatic 97-93 victory Friday over Seattle. “It don’t mean what it says. I’m picking up on this Ebonics thing.”

He weighs in on Ebonics, politics, lunatics, Mavericks and arithmetic. Over the course of 13 NBA seasons, we have come to understand that Charles Barkley will say anything - remember when he claimed he was misquoted in his autobiography? - because he can’t not say something.

Now, another practical example is that Shawn Kemp can’t be Charles Barkley.

No sin in that. Not even a shortcoming, necessarily.

Kemp’s gifts are their own abundant compensation, and a poll of NBA general managers would undoubtedly produce an easy majority for Kemp as the player they’d prefer to fashion a franchise around.

Except that if Kemp’s Sonics don’t beat Barkley’s Rockets today, this series - best-of-7 though it may be - is over.

“No question,” insisted Barkley, “they’ve got to win.”

But only because Barkley found a way to win Game 3 on an evening when he couldn’t hit the floor if he fell out of bed. He made just 2 of 11 shots, but he chased Sam Perkins around the 3-point arc and squeezed him like a size 4 does Roseanne - and still managed to roam back inside for 17 rebounds. In the meantime, unlikely Matt Maloney threw a similar shroud over Hersey Hawkins, negating the two Sonics Barkley feels are the key to the series.

“I call them Herkins and Perkins,” said Barkley. “It’s easier for me to say than Hawkins and Perkins. They don’t rhyme.”

You can explain away Barkley’s poor shooting to his matchup at that end of the floor against Kemp - 5 inches taller, seven years younger, light years quicker. What’s harder to explain is why it didn’t cost the Rockets.

“I felt it was one of my better games,” Barkley reasoned. “Some nights your shots don’t go in. How you judge a good player is, yeah, your shot was off, but what are you doing to help the team win?”

This, as it turns out, is one of the reasons the Rockets felt comfortable pulling the trigger on the four-for-one deal with Phoenix that brought them Barkley when they already had larger-than-lifers Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler.

“I realized that Clyde and Dream were going to be the first two options,” Barkley said, “I’ve got two choices. I can stand out here and pick my nose or I can make a difference in the game.

“Young players, on bad teams, they think if you don’t score, you’re not a good player or not helping your team win. That’s not necessarily true. A guy like a Michael Cooper back in his day, a guy like Dennis Johnson - those guys won games defensively. A Dennis Rodman can win by just rebounding.”

In his pre-drag days, Rodman made his reputation on rebounding - but Barkley, at just 6-foot-5, is a far more remarkable specimen in that regard.

“It’s unbelievable how he dominates that area of the game at his height,” said Rockets coach Rudy Tomjanovich.

But as much as the Rockets needed a rugged rebounder if they were going to get back to the top, there was a reason they went after Barkley and not, say, Rodman.

“A major trade like that, it’s not like bubble-gum cards - ‘Oh, give me a Barkley and I’ll give you this and this,”’ Tomjanovich said. “When you have major players, there has to be a relationship. He and Clyde have been friends for a long time and Hakeem got to know him during the Olympics. And indirectly, Hakeem sort of let us know how phenomenal a person and a player he was - how willing he is to sacrifice to win.

“I just love guys who love the game, and Charles loves the game. he plays it hard. He has respect for it.”

This may not be the Charles Barkley everyone remembers. The Charles Barkley everyone remembers is the one who, in “congratulating” Marv Albert Saturday on his election to some broadcasting hall of fame, said, “I didn’t know they had a hall of fame for broadcasters. Talk about a waste of a building.”

But as Tomjanovich put it, “So he has interesting things to say. So what?”

Good point. By contrast, it’s a bulletin when Kemp has something interesting to say - or will deign to say anything at all.

Not that this needs to be boiled down to “Chuck good, Shawn bad.” Kemp works at the game, plays it hard, is hungry to win and has, at appropriate times, hoisted the Sonics upon his shoulders. The rules are not always applied fairly, the perception sometimes skewed. Yeah, Kemp was out drinking at The Keg before the Sonics played the Bulls. But he didn’t dump beer on a woman the way Barkley once did.

The worst aspect of Kemp’s game is public relations.

But he is still figuring out what Barkley knows. Whether it’s salary or sets called for him, Kemp has never indicated he can be anything but The Man. When his shot isn’t falling or his game’s gone sour, Kemp becomes a drain and a distraction. When Barkley’s been a distraction, it’s because the franchise has fallen down around him.

So for the Sonics’ sake, Kemp must be great.

In the meantime, Tomjanovich will take Barkley.

“If you’re in a foxhole,” said Rudy T., “he’s the guy you want next to you.”

Because even in foxhole - especially in a good foxhole - you need a good laugh.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Color photo

MEMO: You can contact John Blanchette by voice mail at 459-5577, extension 5509.

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = John Blanchette The Spokesman-Review