Babbitts, Bullies, Barreling Bozos
An Associated Press report on two national surveys of today’s workers reveals the workers like their co-workers and their jobs but they aren’t so happy with their bosses.
My take on why there is so much boss hatred has nothing to do with corporate downsizing or part-time jobs without benefits. Nor does it have to do with obscenely high CEO salaries. Rather, it has to do with three prominent categories of bosses, the first of which has existed since the first caveman supervisor insisted he get all the credit for another caveman’s saber-toothed-tiger catch.
Mr. Bigger-than-I-Actually-Am takes all the bows and gets all the praise because he says nothing would be done without his visionary leadership. On the other hand, if something is messed up faster than you can say, “The boss is always right,” he’s out of the country and unavailable for comment. Good news is his; bad news belongs to the poor souls who were following his vision.
He is also known as the Black-Hole boss. Come up with a great idea that makes someone other than him look good and it disappears.
If a creative employee can stand being in the background for years while his superior acts superior, he might get a gold watch and a dinner in his honor. There, his boss will both compliment him and keep him forever in his place with, “Harv has done a good job. But, hey, someone has to do the heavy lifting.”
The second category of executive is fashioned after such notable leaders as Ivan the Terrible and Leona Helmsley. This is the Terror-as-Management-Tool boss.
Unlike Ivan, she doesn’t threaten employees with the rack or boiling oil. Although she would if she could. Restrained by management refinements since the 15th century, her abuse is limited to tongue-lashings. The more personal, the better.
If a poor clerk mistakenly types “bonus” as “bogus” on the e-mail message about the company holiday pittance, he can kiss his job goodbye. Not, however, before he has endured a screaming invective against his manhood, his individual beliefs and his total lack of worth.
What Ivan’s distant cousin doesn’t understand, though, is how her employees get back at her. The fired typo miscreant will get his revenge by misspelling her name on half-a-dozen restroom walls.
Then there is the boss based on MAD Magazine’s What-Me-Worry character, Alfred E. Newman. An employee communique is posted saying vacations for the year have been rescinded. When questioned, the boss gets a silly grin on his face and feigns his amazement the announcement is a surprise.
“Oh,” he says. “Did I fail to mention that was going to happen? I could have sworn we talked about this.” Be assured that the employees’ outrage doesn’t worry him one whit.
He’s not stupid, he’s just a lousy communicator on purpose. What employees don’t know can hurt them, of course, but he doesn’t care about that. Withholding pertinent information is power, and he loves power.
There’s the story, perhaps apocryphal, of a supervisor who constantly left his assistant out of the information loop. The assistant decided to fight back with a plethora of annoying messages such as the note she put under the windshield wiper of her boss’s new luxury automobile. It read: “I’m sorry I ran into your car. Since I don’t have any insurance and the damage isn’t much, I can’t leave my name.” Mr. What-Me-Worry worried a great deal about the alleged damage to his automobile.
Unfortunately, those three boss types are no joke. They abound because too many managers either can’t or won’t share credit, respect and power with their employees. It isn’t any wonder so many Americans hate the folks who sign their paychecks.
Good bosses criticize gently and praise publicly. They assure independence and encourage creativity. They make decisions with employee input and ensure employee ownership in company policy. They never demean, but always are truthful.
Plenty of the Mr. or Ms. Just-Plain-Swell bosses are out there, of course. Lucky the employee who works for one of them. Unlucky the ones who don’t.
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