Born In January? Have We Got An Offer For You
Much has been said about the plight of people with December birthdays.
You know the story line. It says that the annual celebrations get overshadowed by Christmas hoopla.
Well, that may be. But our sympathies are with those who have birthdays in January.
Think about it. In the first month of the year, many people are still worn out from the holidays. And some are tired of choosing gifts.
That wouldn’t seem to bode well for those with January birthdays.
We can’t do anything to change that. But here’s our modest offer.
If you know of someone with a January birthday (even if it’s already passed) and you would like The Slice to wish that person a happy birthday, send us their name. We’ll take it from there. (Be sure to include your own name and phone number as well.)
Flying camels in everyday life: A friend told us about overhearing a guy attending a recent figure skating show at the Spokane Arena. One of the performers had just performed an acrobatic move. But this man in the audience didn’t seem impressed. He said, “I just did one of those out in the parking lot on the way in.”
Now is the season of our discontent: At this time of year, it’s tempting to diagnose any sign of depression as an indication that you are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (wintertime light-deprivation blues). But the truth is, there are plenty of reasons you might be feeling down. Here are just a few.
1. You’ve been listening to Spokane talk radio again.
2. People keep snickering about your “hat hair” even though you didn’t wear a hat.
3. You ate asparagus and now you’re having, uh, “the problem.”
4. You’re depressed because of dumb statements from the White House about not neutering a pet.
5. Your son won’t speak to you because you let it slip that you thought “Puff Daddy” was a marshmallow brand name.
6. Helen Hunt has yet to answer your letters.
7. You just moved here from Southern California and miss TV news shows in which helicopters are used to cover virtually every story.
8. You realize there’s nothing on your personal calendar until the KPBX records and tapes sale.
9. You’re disappointed that Channel 4 was too bashful to congratulate itself for having a lot of people stand in front of cameras at the Rose Bowl.
10. Nightmares about mistakenly paying for a copy of the Inlander.
Today’s Slice question: What was your all-time best shot in a snowball fight?
, DataTimes MEMO: The Slice appears Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098. Chances are, no one would read a novel about a stranded and forgotten STA bus on which the passengers resort to cannibalism to stay alive.