Black Copters: You Heard Them First In N. Idaho

A writer from a men’s magazine called me recently, trying to track down the “black-helicopter” myth. For some reason, he figured North Idaho had something to do with the tale. And he was right. Gather round, children. In August 1994, state agents angered Bonner County residents by using National Guard helicopters to search the backcountry for marijuana plants. Chopper pilots terrorized livestock by flying low. And agents in green jumpsuits and helmets scared the locals by looking in windows. Soon, rumors swirled of dark helicopters transporting United Nations troops to secret exercises. And the rest is history.

Homerism, Boise style:

Idaho Statesman headlines from the state class A-1 tournament for boys’ basketball reveal its even-handed coverage - not: “Lions roar into state championship” and “Coeur d’Alene sneaks by Boise.” You’d never know both games were decided by three points. In fact, you’d hardly know from the articles that followed that the Viks won the tourney.

Rare sighting:

Extra! Extra! Democrats still inhabit Kootenai County. That’s right. I’ve seen them. However, their survival remains in question. They almost had to recruit me to form a quorum at their Friday luncheon … FYI: On Friday, Larry Belmont will announce his Democratic candidacy for the seat now held by state Rep. Jeff Alltus, R-Hayden Lake. And, when he does, he’ll be hit in the face by the thick wallet of Concerned Businesses of North Idaho. The former Panhandle Health District director used to frustrate local businesses with his environmental authority. Now, it’s payback time. … CdA’s George Lyman entertained Generation Xers at a local music store recently by playing a Spike Jones’ cut, “Der Fuehrer’s Face.” The WWII record mocked Hitler and Nazism. Hmmm. Do you suppose it’d provide good marching music for Richard Butler’s proposed “100 Mental Midget” parade?

Swapsies

So, what did Coeur d’Alene Mayor Steve Judy say to Post Falls Superintendent Richard Harris recently. “Wanna trade?” Steve’s battling Aryans and a Superfund designation; Dick’s rassling with a school bond election and evangelical Christians promoting creationism. Dick’s answer? Nope … So, Commissioner Ron Rankin was alone in the courthouse elevator minding his own business when a voice from above said: “For economic reasons and to save tax dollars, this is a 1910 refurbished elevator.” Rankin feared his mind was going, until he remembered the emergency elevator telephone on the first floor. Now, he suspects civil attorney Dennis Molenaar was playing God, a role custom-made for a lawyer.

Huckleberries:

Don’t be surprised if Brand X owner Duane Hagadone announces plans for a Post Falls daily at the chamber of commerce luncheon Tuesday. In other words, a makeover version of the Coeur d’Alene Press. A moment of silence please for the late, not-so-great Post Falls Tribune … Bumpersnicker on a red van parked outside the Sunset Bowling Center: “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people” … The February shoving match that led to the resignation of North Idaho College trustee Bob Ely resulted from a long-standing feud. So says the NIC Sentinel. Seems Ely had pestered the pep band for years to quiet down at basketball games. And a pep band member set him off by giving him some of his medicine back … Shhh. Don’t look now, but Wells Fargo plans to consolidate its downtown and Appleway branches. Bump, bump, bump - and another downtown business bites the dust.

Parting shot:

So, why did the Aryan Nations change its parade date request from April 18 to July 25? To show how venomous the Jewish Defense League is, silly. Which, of course, is the pot calling the kettle black. Or is that white, in this case? The sieg-heilers claim they planned all along to march during their annual confab. Translation: They couldn’t come up with 100 goosesteppers in April.

, DataTimes The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Review